Okay just to for warn everyone this may be a to much information post! lol. But I just gotta bring it up.
Here it is....who the heck can tell me a good way to get cum off you?! I'm so serious here. lol. I mean you get freaky doing your thing, and sometimes depending what your doing things get messy. I for one cannot seem to find a good way to remove the cum! From your stomach, legs, chest, you name it and it's like I've got this thick layer of gooey glue on me. And no matter what I do it never comes all the way off! Grrr.
I swear I get out later and find it still there! Soooo frustrating, I've gotta take like three showers. Okay so that's a little bit of an exaggeration but you get my point right?!
Just the other night I used a scrub brush that I had gotten for my toes and it worked but can you say OUCH! lol.
So I told Josh I am going to create some wonder scrub and call it "cum off" and I swear I'll make a killing off it. Now I just need to figure out what to put in it. Yeah, and Josh said it was the funniest thing I've ever said. Hmmm, and I wasn't even trying. Guess it just comes natural. ha ha.
Now I don't know if this is something the men or women would be more knowledgeable about but if any of you have some secret solution...PLEASE share your secrets with me!!! I swear I'll cut you in on some of the proceeds from my "cum off" scrub.
~ Nicole
Kids Say the Darnedest Things
10 years ago
Posts
33 Comments:
I'm an so anti cum it's not even funny. I don't want it in me, on me or anywhere near me.
There is nothing I hate more than having that stuff drip out me all day or night. Ew ew ew.
I love to give DH oral sex, but I want nothing to do with his man juices. It's hard to work around that part. I'm really good at knowing when he is going cum so I remove my mouth, but it still gets on my hands. Yuck.
I can't believe you made me say all that Jazz :-P LOL
LOL, I'm so glad you were honest. And girl I am so with you. Swallow? Are you freaking nuts? Not me! lol. So when you get it all over your hands what do you do???? And even though you don't LIKE man juices you still have sex so what do you do when it does get on you??? SHARE!!! lol. I love your response! So honest.
O.M.G. You actually went there with this post. You know I love you, right? But you're a freak. lol
Okay Lil Miss Freaky.....I've got two words for you.....baby wipes. Seriously. Keep 'em by your bed. They really do work....depending on freaky you get you may need to use more than one but they get the job done. It also helps to keep a dry rag by your bed so after you wipe everything up you can dry off a bit too.
Daphne, go pee after sex. Almost all of it "cums" out (lol). Wear a pantyliner to keep the yuck factor down.
Oh man. You crack me up Jazz.
I'd go with the baby wipes too. I always have them in the house. they are amazing things, but you have kids, you already know that!
I am so on it! I never buy baby wipes anymore, since both my kids have been potty trained. But if it'll help with this issue I'm all over it. I hate haveing spur of the moment sex really late at night and then having to go take a shower instead of going to sleep. Now I can! Yeay! I'll let you know if it helps. haha
And I know more than these four people read this post why isn't anyone else offering oppinions?
Chicken!
Sorry, I've got nothing...
AF asked a quesion in my blog that came after this one. He said why don't we just use condoms? Well we do. It's just sometimes they kinda don't feel so great so we take it off and then in the end the cums gotta go somewhere so I don't get preggers. So onto my boobs, tummy, back, where ever. So there you have it. We do use condoms....most of the time.
Jazzy N, have you ever heard of a "cum rag", have an old tee shirt or something (not BLACK lol) ready and spread it on your back, belly, etc. when he's about to cum. OR you can finish him off "manually" into a tee or rag or whatever. Both methods kinda kill the mood but when you just aren't in the mood to get nasty OR pregnant, it works better. I despise condoms. They smell funny, taste funny and pretty much ruin all of the fun because once you put one on, your pretty much stuck with it.
PS: Just in case, for some strange reason you didn't already realize this, the pull out method isn't 100% effective. Some sperm escape in the pre-cum.
Charm, lol yes I do know pulling out is not 100% effective. That is why it does not happen that offen. And the other things? Yeah mood killer, I'd rather get messy. lol.
LOL, I forgot to come back to this!
We mostly use condoms. Infact, we even use them when I am pregnant-thats how much I don't want that stuff on me.
Sometimes we don't use them, and then DH cleans me up with a wet towel or I run to the shower.
Crazy topic, lol
Chantal,
Your a nut! lol. My husband would be having none of that. He hates condoms, and I agree. I mean I love that I have no mess. But I hate the way they feel and smell. And yeah, if you put it on your stuck with just sex, if you change your mind and want to go down...ewww it taste sooo nasty. And I'm not saying do it while he's wearing it, I'm saying he takes it off and it still tastes nasty. lol.
I'm on birth control and since that's just as effective as condoms, we don't use them anymore. Well, unless it's a certain time of the month, then I make him wear one, cuz that's just nasty. lol
First things first: I swallow. What's wrong with that? Well, I swallow most of the time. There's been once or twice when I've spit, but I have to tell you, it's kind of a mood killer. I mean, come on! You're all into it, getting turned on, then BAM, he cums and you spit? That's just gross.
Ok, moving on...
I do the same as Charmed, have a rag or towel or whatever close by. MM usually brings me a wet washcloth afterwards to clean up with, and that works really well.
I've never tired baby wipes (never thought of it) but I'm willing to try anything once. The only issue I have with them is that they're cold.
Holly,
Then buy a whipes warmer. lol. Remember them from the baby days.
And swallow? OMG I'm gonna gag! YUCK! That's like swallowing nasty mucas! And you know what I think of that! Blow don't sniff. lol.
Oh no, I don't spit. I simply refuse to let it enter my mouth at all.
I have swallowed, but I was always drunk when I did.
You gals are right about condoms, and how they taste. We like to go back and forth between oral and intercourse so the condoms is not on the whole time, just the end.
I agree about the baby wipes. Brrr.
I don't let it in my mouth either. I'm just saying if I did, I wouldn't swallow. Gag!
I'm with Holly on the swallowing. Obviously, its my choice if I'm up for it or now but I'm pretty sure it kinda hurts his feelings. He's not freaking out, spitting, wiping off his tongue and reaching for some Coke after going down on me. I know its not always the most pleasant tasting thing. I don't mind swallowing unless its been awhile. If there's three days of cum built up....ew. Hell freaking no. haha
Oh man. The things we girls will write about and share with each other! (And knowing full well that if my husband had this conversation with his friends, I'd be filing for divorce!!)
PS: I have a TMI post "cuming" up. Be prepared. I need help/advice.
Fascinating ladies ; completely fascinating. Thank-you all for sharing this with me ; I hadn't realised I was making such a nuisance of myself.
In future I promise to be more considerate and keep a warm cloth or a pack of wet-wipes on the bed-side table.
( I had one girlfriend who liked to massage it into my hair. Now I understand why).
LOL & Stuff,
M.
Thanks for stopping by my blog Merlin! And massage it into your hair??? Gross! lol...
Zeek,
Josh is always asking if he can let it loose on my face and I always say HELL TO THE NO! That is so never going to happen. haha. And it spewing all over my body? (that makes me think of a sprinkler, lol) it's not a planned out porny move, it's just like we're doing it and OH SHIT I gotta cum and not in you, pull out and squirt where it goes. lol.
I just can't swallow. I may have done it a total of 10 times in the past 8 years. It's just gross, I feel like I have snot dripping down my troat. And I have a serious snot issue.
Nope sorry he's lucky I'm going down, but I'm most def spitting or stopping before he cums.
Zeek,
I have the IUD and I love it. No hormones to effect my body and I don't have to remember a pill every day. You might want to look into it.
I think swallowing is hot. :P
haha Holly!
The shot was amazing, once your body got used to it. The first two months or so is kinda yucky though. Only downside: You go absolutely beserk when you first go off it and while you're on it, you don't lube up as well, naturally.
I'm afraid of the IUD. My sister in law had alot of complications with it.
CSR,
You had the Depo shot??? That is soooo bad for you and your hormones! How long have you been off it? That could have lots to do with not getting preggers yet. Ask your doctor.
Zeek,
I am getting the IUD too! Well hopefully I am waiting to see how much of it my insurance will cover. I so can't do the pill, I forget. That is how little Abby came to be. lol. But I love her, my little suprise blessing. And the pill made me gain weight. Umm, no thanks I do that well enough on my own. So we've been using condoms for the last few years. Off and on, between other types of controls. But I hate them. There's itch, smell, and yes sometimes hurt. Yuck!
I'm pretty sure most of those issues have been cleared up, Zeek. Just after I had my son, I was looking at the IUD, but the risks were too high. Plus, there was other stuff that made me nervous or squicky. But over the last few years they've really cleaned it up and my gyno highly recommended it. Especially for someone like me, who doesn't want kids anytime soon. But even if I changed my mind, it's easy to remove.
And Charm,
I tried commenting on your blog and can't for some reason.
Anyway, if you were on the shot for a prolonged period of time, that could be part of the reason why you aren't conceiving. My doc says it can take your body up to a year to level out and your hormones to start working properly after you stop. Just FYI.
LEARN TO SWALLOW.
just kidding
All you do is let it dry, than it comes off real easy with turpentine and a brillo pad. Hope this helps!!
Seriously - if you're a man (and you all probably realise I am !) some of this is really good to hear - and I don't mean for pervy reasons.
I HATE condoms. I'd rather have sex with myself than use a condom. It makes the whole business completely and utterly pointless.
And yeh.....I did say "massage it into my hair" Jazz. Never bothered me much. She had a wicked sense of humour ! Should have married her when I had the chance. That was my second big mistake : I got it right third time around.
All The Best,
M.
Merlin,
Well I aim to please so I'm glad you got some helpful information here. lol.
Drake,
Brillo pad? LMAO! And no it is a rare occation when I swallow.
Hmmmmmm Holly. I don't know why you can't but I've trouble with other peoples blogs today (1/24/07). I was on the shot for a long time, about four years. Its been almost a year since my last shot (March, 06) so hopefully it'll even out soon.
Why do they have to make BC so freakin' difficult? Jazz, you know not to use the sponge...haha! My mom recommends the VCF film (its like a Listerine Strip but its spermicide). It kept her baby free for three years. She didn't get pregnant til she stopped using it. You fold it up and insert it. I've tried it before I was on the shot and it was simple and effective. You just gotta wait a minute or two to start dissolving, otherwise it'll get stuck to your guy....which was kinda funny though when it happened.
Just swallow~
LOL!! This one just cracked me up....
my solution? *gulp* does a body good!
LOL
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