Moments that will stay with me forever...
Saturday we were out food shopping and when we were getting in the car the downpour started again from Tropical Storm Hannah. So I said to my kids that since this was called Tropical Storm Hannah that it meant that all the rain drops were kissed from Hannah...Jordon's face lit up and he looked up and spun around saying "WOW! Then I'm gonna get them all!" And we just stood out in the rain.
~ Nicole
I don't have a lot to say right now or a lot of time. But as I was thinking earlier today about what to buy my mom and sister for their birthdays I was struck by how hard our birthdays are going to be both this year and every year.
Within a month my mom me and my other sister all have birthdays...the usual birthday thing with us is a birthday breakfast. Even since I've married and moved out my mom has tried to keep the tradition with either Josh doing it and them coming over or me just going there. But birthdays are always with family. So with Hannah's death so recent and all three of us having our birthdays I just have to wonder how it will be.
This was Hannah's 20th Birthday this past April:
I'm sure there will be moments that we're having fun laughing and then the laughter will turn to tears without any warning just cause we'll realize Hannah's not there. She was so much fun. Always making everyone crack up laughing.
Then with gifts....I saw this glass heart that you can have a picture etched in and I wanted it to get it for myself to hang on my rear view mirror in my car. Then I was like 'good idea, I'll get one for my mom' then josh said to get one for Sarah too. At first I thought it was a good idea, I mean I know they would want one, but will it just bring more sadness to their birthdays if I give them something in memory of Hannah? Should I just make it a non-birthday gift and find something else for their birthdays?
I'll tell you one thing Army Wives is like therapy for me right now. Anyone watching this show will know. Sometimes I just want to cry out my pain and every time I watch it it hits right on some of my feelings with Hannah and I have a good cry.
She always was sure of herself and how cute she looked, especially when she was going out:
~ Nicole
The other night I got home from work pretty late but by time I got in bed I was still to wound from the day to sleep so I turned the TV on and watched one of my recorded shows, Army Wives.
I don't know if anyone watched it last year or this year but last season there was a suicide bomber and he ended up killing the daughter of one of the women on the show. Well in the episode I watched the other night the sister of the suicide bomber went to the family of the girl to ask forgiveness.
While I was watching this show I was struck by something that never occurred to me before. Not once in the month or so since my sisters death has the man that killed her or any of his friends or family reached out to mine to say sorry. Do I think his family or friends should be held accountable? No but do I think in this type of situation they should offer up some type of condolence? Most definitely.
This man or should I say coward got behind the wheel of his car drunk off his ass, speed hit my sister, killed her and then fled the scene of the accident and after all of that he has said nothing! And you look on his myspace page and you see all these people telling him how much they love him, are there for him and support him, yet not one of them has reached out to my family. None of them have encouraged him to own up to what he's done. NOTHING.
I actually read a blog one of his friends posted on her myspace page and she had the nerve to talk about how horrible he must feel and what he's going through. If he felt so horrible why hasn't he said anything? And then she had the nerve to say that he should remember that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. WTF?! Is she saying that that asshole was preordained to hit and kill Hannah? OMG that girl better pray I never see her on the street cause it just might be preordained for me to kick her ass.
After what he did I don't know why it would shock me that he wouldn't apologize and even if he did? Well lets just say it's to late for that now anyway.
~ Nicole
Yesterday, well I guess two days ago since it's after midnight now, marked a month that my sister has been gone. A month without seeing her smile, waking her up to hang with me, a month without silly text messages and secrets shared. A long month in which my heart hurts just as much and maybe more.
I don't know if the saying time heals all things is true but if so it's gonna take a whole lot more time. Yet life seems to go on. After two weeks I returned to work and while I can do my job I feel guilty doing it. I mean I'm a manager at Bath and Body Works, how can I coach people daily on selling lotions and adding on bath sponges while my heart is bleeding and my sister isn't here?
How can I allow my life to be so busy with...life, that I haven't had a chance to go to her grave? And only twice have I gone to her memorial? It eats me up inside. I just want so much more time. I work my 40 hours then I want to make sure I don't neglect my husband and kids but after that how do I have time for just me to be with Hannah? I need time for me and her. I need to sit at her grave and miss her and tell her that. I need to be alone to cry and grieve. But I just don't have it.
I miss her so much. I want to hear her laugh again....my brother woke the other night from having a dream of Hannah. I wish I could, I wish I could dream of her so then I could talk to her, I could hug her and hear her and touch her. Even if only in a dream I could have her with me. 
I love you Hannah, every day of my life every breath that I take I love you! I will never forget you. Please come visit me soon, come hug me in my dreams come talk and laugh with me just one more time.
~ Nicole
I really need my blog now to let loose on how I am feeling....problem? It's been so long I forget how to mess with my template. I tried to change it but as you can see it's all messed up. I know you can't even post me a comment now. So if anyone can help me and tell me what the heck to do email me at nikki.emmett@gmail.com thanks so much!
~ Nicole
I'm a Christian and I seem to be finding that they are the ones at this time of my life that are offending the most. Just because we believe in Heaven and that it is this great place...so much better than earth does NOT mean I am happy my sister is there instead of here. She is 20 she shouldn't be there yet.
Don't tell me that God loved Hannah so much he decided to make her an angle cause he wanted her. REALLY? You really think that? So many people both young and old die all the time and your telling me that God decided he just had to have Hannah! He just decided that it didn't matter that she was my parents baby, that she had two nieces and a nephew, that she didn't get to live her life yet. He just needed her that much? REALLY? I just don't think so...
And I don't draw comfort from it either. 
Two most horrible things to say to me right now....
1) She's in a better place
2) How are you?
Seriously...how am I? If you thought about that for two seconds before it left your mouth you would know I am horrible...So why are you asking? Especially the people that don't really even know me...or Hannah. I hate that. So many people are coming up to me and acting like they care so much. And I just feel so angry right now. At them, at everything!
None of this is fair and I know life's not fair but this really is beyond what I think I can bear. I don't know how to live happily....
Sorry I know this is all a ramble but this is my only vent.
~ Nicole
I'm a big sister...the way life goes you parents go first then it should kind of go down in age. So there is no reason that makes any type of sense that my baby sister that just turned 20 is not here any more.
I just don't get it. I don't doubt there's a God, I know there is but this 'everything has a reason'? I don't know about that, tell me the reason my sister got run over by a drunk driver while walking to her car? WHY, Fucking tell me WHY? Where's the reason? Where's the grand plan in that?
She was so beautiful! So full of life. She loved everyone and everyone loved her. She was so funny, she made you crack up all the time. She had the most beautiful eyes and the longest lashes. We used to have the same red color hair but as I got older and had kids mine changed and got darker, more brown. I would always say it's not fair and I wanted her hair, so long, wavy and beautiful. But now....THIS is what's not fair.
I know she's in heaven and that's a better place and she's fine now but the fact is she shouldn't be there yet! She was only 20! She had a life she wanted to live, she was my baby sister, my parents are dying over this, she had two nieces and a nephew. She didn't' even have a chance to get married and have her own babies yet!
OMG I hate this! This fucking sucks! I hate the asshole that did this! He speeds, while drunk hits my sister, my Hannah, and then FLEES! He left! Thank God for the security guard that was there and followed him till the cops got there. I want this man to know what he did. I want him to see my sisters picture to know what he took away, then I want him to sit in a jail cell and think of that every day of his life.
I don't know how my family will ever get past this! How do you? OMG I'm dying inside! Look at her! Look how beautiful and special she was!
She just went to Florida for my cousins Sweet 16 and had so much fun. Then she was in Myrtle Beach with one of her best friends during bike week being crazy. She rode on the back of bikes, went skinny dipping in the ocean. She was young and having the time of her life. In august she was going to go on her first cruise with a bunch of friends. Now she's gone. Now I'll never be able to call her and talk about my stupid issues, now I'll never be able to guilt her into being my last minute baby sitter. We can't get out eyebrows done together and go shopping at Forever 21 together, one of her favorite stores.
We were just there on Wenesday. I woke her up around 12, she always sleeps late cause she works at night in a hotel. She got ready the whole time me rushing her and her telling me to leave if I was annoyed. The whole time neither of us really cared cause we never fought. We went to McDonald's for Ice Coffees and they were so watered down, she also got a honeymustard, grilled chicken snack wrap. Then we went to the mall, we went to Bath and Body works and she got Fresh Pineapple shampoo and conditioner. Then we got good coffees from Starbucks, her iced me hot. Then we stopped at CR and Forever 21. She found a purse she loved and treated herself. I got crazy big red sunglasses that she liked. Then I dropped her off at home. She came back later to babysit my kids while Josh and I went to a meeting and when we got back she was waiting outside to leave cause we were late and she was meeting friends to go to a movie. But she came back that night and burned two CDs for me. We hung out till around midnight......and the last time I saw her was when she said "Oh snap" and ran to her car cause it had started to rain and she left her windows down.
I know she knows I love her but I didn't' tell her that last time. I didn't' hug her that last time!
How do I live my life without her? How do I go on? It's just not the same, it never will be.
My other sister is distraught. She was there! She didn't' see it, but they were both out together. They were with friends celebrating a birthday. Hannah left early to meet some other friends, she wasn't really drinking or anything cause she had to go to work at 6 am. She was so happy. She had her new yellow high strappy sandals on, her shorts and her new purse she got while out with me. She didn't even tell Sarah she was leaving so she didn't' get to say bye.
How do I stop picturing it? How do I get the image of my sister dressed all cute so happy running to her car then a truck smashing into her.....did she see it? Was she scared? Was it instant like the medics say it probably was or was she laying there in the street in pain all alone till the medics got there? OMG my baby!
All I can see is that all I can hear is my mom when I walked into the house wailing and saying "Hannah's gone, OMG Hannah's gone!".
Just admit you do cause I know it's true. lol. So what have all of you been up to? I have been soooooo busy! I don't remember if I told you all that my husband was going to India on business for THREE WEEKS! But he did, he will be home on Sunday. So as I'm sure you can all figure out I've been super busy with doing all the parenting, working, school stuff and everything else on my own. I just can't handle any more of this! Thank God he comes home on Sunday. They almost wanted to have him stay another few weeks, and with me in retail and the holidays basically here in my store I was about to have a heart attack. lol.
Speaking of which am I the only person who thinks it a bit crazy that people are Christmas shopping already! I mean I work at Bath & Body Works and we have our Christmas displays up and music playing. It's freaking crazy! lol. I have people coming in with Christmas lists and checking things off already. Hot damn, I haven't even started to think about what I want yet....okay okay so I'm lying. There are a few pieces of Brighton Jewelry I am dying for. lol. Whatever, I was just looking....and emailing links to my husband. haha. A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.
So because this is me and I always have to have some type of bitch fest in my blogs let me tell you how annoyed I get with some customers....we give out a lot of coupons at my store, A LOT! And nothing (and I am stressing the NOTHING) annoys me more than when someone has a coupon for a free item and decides they don't want that free item so they want to pick out some other random piece and get that free. Oh and don't forget the eye rolls and attitude when I say no, cause God freaking forbid you don't get what you want! IT'S FREE! TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT! Oh or how about when a sign plain as days says something the customer doesn't read it and then throws a fit at you? Or no wait for this one, this is good. I had a customer come in and complain that we didn't have big enough gift sets, so I get her a bigger one, then the problem is that it's big but she doesn't like the basket oh and it doesn't cost enough, yup you got it, her daughter will check the price so it had to be at least $60. 
So after I basically make her a set of what she wants she has the nerve to freaking tell me that for that amount of money she should get more stuff, can't I throw in the little teddy bear with the mini lotion and gel (that costs $12.50!)I laughed (pretend) and told her I couldn't so then when I rung her up I asked if she wanted to get the bear and she says "not if I have to buy it"! OMG the freaking nerve of some people, and it's just starting! I can only laugh right now, I am trying to keep my humor here, haha.
So what else? Oh yeah, pretty soon I will have another blog up with my jewelry. Yup, remember when I was telling you all about the jewelry party I was having? All sterling silver and swavorski crystals? Well I ended up loving the stuff so much I was going broke. But then I really looked into it and realized I could make the stuff myself. It's not really hard, it just takes time and imagination to think up new designs. So that's what I'm doing. I have a lot of fun new pieces I will be showing you all but the best part? You can totally create your own stuff. Pick out the color, size, shape, charms...etc. I can create it, you can or we can do it together. As soon as I get it all together I'll put the link for it up here.
Well that's it for me. What's new with all of you?????
~ Nicole
Well yesterday I worked from 3pm to 3am. LOL, no they are not killing me I am still happy with my new job. Two times a year they change all the walls in the store, everything gets gutted cleaned and rearranged, and that was last night. That always takes that long but like I say twice a year so not bad. I still have one more week of training then I am in my store and I am excited. I worked the wall change in my store so I meet a lot of my staff then, they seem like a cool upbeat bunch so I'm all positives right now.
Well except for the fact that every time I go I GET LOST! LOL, I swear it has got to be the easiest mall to get to but I am just the WORST at directions and every time I make just that one wrong turn. But I WILL GET IT! lol.
Other news? I got a puppy! DON'T YELL AT ME! This one is already house trained and well behaved and it's small. I will love it forever I SWEAR! lol. (hiding from Holly here) But I have a problem, my sister had named the dog Co-Co which I like a lot but my neighbors dog has that name and since my dog only had the name for a few short months we want to give her a different name so there is no confusion. We are a really close neighborhood and the dogs hang out, as strange as that sounds. So it would be confusing. So I need you all to give me dog name ideas. Here's some pictures to help you out....
OH and a few weeks ago my cousin has her Sweet 16, but she did it really big (she's puerto rican so they do this big thing) and I got to look all hot for the night. It was fun, my cousin wore a beautiful red dress and everyone that came had to wear black or white. So here are me and my sisters looking hot! And yes I know my tata's were out for the night, but it was so false advertisement cause they don't really look as hot as that. lol. But it was nice to pretend, but as you can tell by the end of the night (last picture) they were on their way down, hahaha...
~ Nicole
Yup you heard me. I'm done. No more promises. I keep telling you all I'm back and I'm gonna try to be faithful, but it never happens. Lets all just face the facts...I moved started working full time, enrolled my kids in a crap load of things and have NO ME TIME! lol. So with all that being said the only think I'm gonna tell you is that I am keeping my blog and when I have time I will update it. I hope to keep some of my readers...and when I am on I will try to see what all of you are up to on your blogs.
So on with this post....I got a new job. YES AGAIN! lol. As you all know before I went from one jewelery store to another, I just made the move because of money (to the different company)and a management position. What you all don't know is after being there for only about 1 1/2 months the store manager was needed to fill in in another location and they made me acting manager of my location. It was only supposed to be for one month...that was two months ago.
My best friend works for Bath & Body Works and in all honesty I never thought they would pay what I wanted but she urged me to apply since they were hiring and I was worked to death enough at my job to be curious enough to give it a shot. I was working 60 hr work weeks.
I actually went through 4 interviews (I asked for a lot more than what I was making) and got offered the job for MORE than what I asked for! I have to travel a little bit. Right now I am 10 min. from my house... the mall I'll be going to is 25-30 min. from my house. But it's an easy ride and I don't mind it much. I am really excited, I'll be going over as a co-manager...basically the same as I am now they just say co instead of assistant.
So wish me all a ton of luck, my last day at the jewelry store is tomorrow and I start the new job on Sunday. Woo Hooo.
~ Nicole
Okay so remember the post or two I put up when I first started my new job? About that older woman that was messing with that younger guy? Well she has always seemed a little off her rocker to me. Like I would look at her sometimes and just wonder if she was really as stupid as she seemed cause I just can't fathom somebody that dumb!
Well she really is....here's the latest....she signed a $25,000 loan over to that 24 yo guy! No co-sign, NO just her name on a loan for that amount and to be given in full to him. And surprise surprise now he is saying she is to old for him and they should just be friends. lol. Well needless to say she's been a little extra nutso lately and I can't normally take much of her to begin with. So all of that was a recipe for disaster when me and her were scheduled to work together today.
It started off pretty normal. She being extra late going on and on about hating that 24 yo. Blah blah blah. Then the computers don't start up and I am on the phones two times with tech support which the girl didn't even speak English much so we all know that put me in a mood. So when a customer came in saying they were called about their repair being in and neither of us could find it things got tense.
We were both looking, I thought she was just not looking hard enough but I couldn't find it either. So I am asking her to do certain things and getting a little annoyed because she gets over frustrated and always over talks to the customers about things that they shouldn't know. Well she's doing this and I am trying to figure out what happened when I finally tell the customer I will call him and got him out of the store.
By now she is all mad at me saying I was treating her badly when the customer was there. She is giving me major attitude and I had it. So I told her she needed to calm down and she flips. She tells me that I am a Bitch and that I treat everyone like shit and take everything out on everyone else. Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean.
So she is yelling across the store all this saying I'm a bitch on wheels etc. etc. After she called me a bitch I told her she crossed a line, that I am her boss and who does she think she is talking to? Well she says that I won't be her boss for long (because I had told her that morning I was giving my notice...that's another story) and she continued to flip. So I told her she needed to go home. That I was calling our DM and telling him why I sent her home and she needed to leave the store. 
O.M.G. that was it she went ballistic screaming that she was going to call him and tell him how I was treating her and that I am a horrible person. So I tell her to leave again and pick up the phone to call my DM.
As the phone is ringing she gets in my face pointing saying that I'm horrible and a bitch, so I tell her to walk away from me and she says "Why? You wanna hit me? Go on hit me!" over and over again! And OMG how I did want to hit her. But I didn't I simply put my hand in front of my face, cause I really thought she was going to hit me, and told her to get out of my face. THE BITCH TOOK MY HAND AND THREW IT TO THE SIDE! Then she tried to pull the phone out of my hand. That's when my DM answered. And I was freaking shaking with anger.
I honestly think that if my DM didn't answer when he did she would have hit me. And it's not that I thought she was going to beat me up or anything, lol. It was more that I couldn't do anything since I was at work and her boss without getting in trouble and I was fast losing my cool.
So when he answered I went to start telling him what was happening and she ran over to the other phone picked it up and started to yell and go nuts telling him that I was being abusive to her and asking her questions all the time (like that's not my job or something) and saying that I was taking my bad mood out on her and on and on. Finally he told her to calm down and put me on. Well I listened to the entire thing so I was there and calmly told him what happened. She had walked out of the store at this time.
Do you know what he told me to do?????!!!!! TAKE A BREATH AND TRY AND TALK TO HER! THAT I FREAKING NEED TO CONSOLE HER IF SHE IS HAVING ISSUES!!!!!!!!! You know what I did? Took that freaking breath and told him that I am leaving and this is my two week notice. He told me we'd talk about it. I'm all whatever but I'm leaving.
Okay skipping along a little here...she doesn't leave the store so I called security on her and they called the cops and she was escorted out of the store with her purse and all and told she wasn't allowed back today. OMG if looks could kill I'd be dead! lol.
I so wish she would have been waiting outside so I could have kicked her fat old ass when I wasn't on the clock! OMG I hate walking away, lol. Aren't I such a great person. haha.
So anyway...that was my fun and exciting day! But enough about me...how are all of you doing? lol. I really miss blogging, hopefully I'll be fitting it in more....we'll see. I'll post again really soon with everything about my new job....again! lol. But it's really good news. BYE....
~ Nicole
Alright ladies. Spill it. Who gets one done? Who's done it before but not again????? Who, like me, wants to but is sooooo scared? lol.
Personally I've wanted to get it done for awhile, but OMG how painful does that sound! I even had a friend tell me that her cousin when and had it done and was bleeding. I mean I am all for being sexy and smooth but I just don't know how much I can endure to get that.
So I am in need of some real direction here. Anyone that has had it done...is it worth it? How long does the pain last?
If the pain isn't all that bad though, or is gone in like a second then I think it beats the hell out of shaving all the freaking time.
Oh and how often do you have to get it done? Cause if you have to wait for the hair to get a certain length before you have it done again wouldn't that be gross? So I don't know, I'm weighing my options here. What to do what to do.
I was going to write a longer blog on this and other stuff but I'm about done now. lol. Not really in the blogging mood. So come on ladies, give me your thoughts. And guys too. What do you think? Is it hot? Or overboard?
And I leave you with....a vidio. ENJOY!
Brazilian Waxing - Funny videos are here
~ Nicole
Let me count the reasons.....
The other week.....
Monday~ 9:30am to 5:30pm WORK
Tuesday~ 9:30am to 6:45pm WORK
Wednesday~ Me day!
Thursday~ 9:30am to 10:00pm WORK
Friday~ 9:30am to 10:00pm WORK
Saturday~ 9:30am to 10:00pm WORK
Now lets see what this week looks like....
Monday~ 9:30am to 10:00pm WORK
Tuesday~ 9:30am to 1:00pm WORK, 1:30pm to 2:00pm(ish) interview for new job (VERY HOPEFUL!) Oh and this happens to be my birthday! Yeay, me.
Wenesday~ 9:30am to 10:00pm WORK
Thursday~ 9:30am to 5:00pm WORK, 5:45pm to 7:00pm killing myself at the gym, but loving it.
Friday~ 9:30am to 10:00pm WORK.......
Do you see a pattern here? I'M LOSING MY FREAKING MIND! Lets all hope I get this new job with NORMAL hours!
But on a really good note guess what Josh got me for my birthday????? Tickets for us to go see the Final 10 of American Idol from last year!!!! We're going to Atlantic City to see them in concert 9/8!!!!! I'm so excited!
~ Nicole
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY JORDON!!!! MY BABY IS 6!!!)
It's 12:30 in the morning and I cannot sleep. I've just watched two, no make that three episodes of a show called State of Mind, which is so funny, and I just really got the urge to blog. I seriously cannot even tell you how long it's been, well I could if I looked at my last entry but whatever you know what I mean.
Anyway, the topic that has brought me to the keyboard at 12am is being judgemental/honest/overweight/happy.
Now what does all that have to do with each other? Well here's where I'm coming from. I'm sure you've heard my story.....an average size 7 all my life, never worked out was just a normal girl that lived in the city and walked here and there doing things with her friends. Well I meet my husband, stopped walking anywhere and got into a comfortable relationship. By time I got married I was a size 9 by time I was pregnant I was a size 11.
(1999 at Josh's prom, the smallest I ever was at a size 6)
***side note***
anyone who knows anything knows that when I was a 7 it was a 7/8 and 9 it was 9/10...on and on....funny how it seems so much better by dropping that number on the end. lol.
***end side note***
Anyway two kids later I'm a size 12. Do I like myself? YES. Do I like my body? NO.
And I am sick and tired of everyone telling me that they are one and the same. No I don't agree. I love the woman I am. I am funny, smart, pretty and yeah, sexy. But I don't like my body. I don't like my thighs, I don't like my stomach, I don't like the tops of my arms (although they really aren't that bad). But it is really starting to piss me off that whenever I say I hate my body people say I have self esteem issues and I don't 'love' or 'like' myself. I don't see it like that at all.
(this is a bad picture, I don't have any makeup on or my hair done, but I wanted you to see a recent picture)
I mean I'm talking about an outward physical thing here. I know my body doesn't make who I am, but that doesn't mean you should neglect it. Right? I mean like it is more understanding to me for a man that has never seen me naked to say I'm hot and sexy. Cause yeah, I am, I dress for my body type an I am pretty. Because I know that does it make me conceited? I hope not, I don't really think so. But like I was saying it is easier for me to believe this random guy than to believe that my husband finds my BODY sexy. My husbands seen me naked.
Now people confuse this when I say it too. Yes I know my husband loves ME, and I know he finds ME sexy (as in the woman I am) but my body? I have a hard time grasping that.
Am I making any sense here or is this just a stupid midnight rant?
I mean people say I am judgemental cause I comment on peoples physical appearance. Well sorry, I work in the mall, it gets slow and there is nothing to do but people watch. And I try to make a habit of not walking around with rose colored glasses on so when I see someone that looks like they are about my age and cannot even walk properly because they are so big I comment on it.
Just today I was watching a girl that was probably younger than my 26 years walk down the stairs in the mall. First of all it took her about 5 minutes, second she had to put both feet on each step, third when she did get down she had to hold the rail and take a few big deep breaths before she could continue to walk.
No there was nothing wrong with her, she was just very overweight. And why is it wrong for me to thing this is ridiculous? I mean come on the girl had to be about 20, this is just out of control. If she's not accountable for getting that way who is?
I mean don't we control what we become? Don't we control what goes into our mouths? Weather or not we exercise? I mean for that matter, even if a little off topic, don't we control what we feed our children and what activities we put them in?
I mean we just make to many excuses for the way we are. And I don't think by saying that it means I hate myself and am a horrible person. I love myself, and I want me to be the best I can be. And I'm sorry but if I cannot sit down without feeling the need to drape my arm across my stomach I'm not the best I can be. What about instead of making excuses we make goals? You know.
Maybe if we got different mindsets and approached things differently the average size will stop jumping from 7 to 12.
Sorry midnight rant over. But not sorry for my opinions, they are mine and I am entitled to them. And just so we can clarify this one last thing up....no this post does NOT mean I hate fat people. lol.
...night.
~ Nicole
Okay here's the thing....Josh just signed Jordon up for flag football. Now if you all remember last year we did the football thing, but it was real tackle and all, and Jordon did NOT like it! lol. We ended up pulling him mid season. It was to much, he was one of the youngest and smallest boys and he was getting so bullied by the 7 year olds on the teams. But Josh has been practicing with him, flag style, and he loves it. So here we go again.....
He will be having three practices a week and when school starts going down to two. If you ask me I think it's a little much for 6 year olds. But whatever. Here's where I'm wondering if I'm a bad mom. Josh came home from the registering parent meeting and is all gunge hoe on the football stuff. I just am not really interested, I don't particularly like sports. I don't care if my kids play it but it doesn't spark my interest. Well Josh is all "you need to participate and be there and blah blah blah" and my thoughts are 'you signed him up! you have the job where your done at 5! you like football' why the hell am I getting the guilt trip over this?!
I mean when he has games I will make sure I am off and there. I will try to like it and I will love watching him play. BUT why do I have to go to his practices? Josh is there, isn't that enough?
So tell me the truth. Am I really a bad mom????
****TOTALLY OFF TOPIC****
You all know I am the Assistant Manager at the store I'm at right? Well before I was there obviously there was another one.
Well she went out on maternity leave, and that's when I got hired on. When just recently she came in and said she was coming back I was told that 'we didn't' expect her to come back after the baby' WTF!
So as of now there are going to be two AM's in the store, and on the DL I'm being told 'no worries, we're transferring her'.
And then the manager is all 'she may be AN Assistant but she's not MY Assistant. YOU are.' Me rolling my eyes!
So whatever, normally I just wouldn't care. I mean hey, we could really hit it off and work as a team, right? Hell no. All I hear is that she is super bossy and always wants to be in charge and that she is constantly stealing sales etc. etc. But I know I should wait and make my own opinions.
But not to mention she just had a baby and she is like a freaking size 2! That'll make you hate a girl, lol.
Anyway she comes back today and opens with me. So Josh is all why are you up so early? And I'm all I wanted to get my clothes ready and do my hair and make-up so I can get to work early. He's all why? And I'm all "Cause I'm going to be better!" lol. He's all 'your such a child'. lol.
****END OF TOTALLY OFF TOPIC****
~ Nicole
I need help.
Right now I am with Sprint for my cell phone services. BUT I just got a new phone in January and am not crazy about it anymore. I want something cooler, with more computer options on it and stuff. I mean I can check my email and stuff on it now, but it is just a regular flip phone. But when I got the new phone I signed another 2 year contract.
But I have a friend that works at T-Mobile and he said he can give me this cool phone I want for free or the one I REALLY want for $150 (it's a $400 phone), and also one for Josh. But I don't know if I want to switch.
If I switch I'll have to deal with the cancellation fee's from Sprint and all that. But most of my family does have T-Mobile so it will save me money there. Hmmmmm, decisions decisions.
So who has what? T-Mobile or Sprint, what should I do? Who do you suggest? Who has the better services? Tell me the good and the bad.
Right now we pay about $90 a month for 1400 shared minutes, but our nights start at 7pm. T-Mobile I get 2000 minutes for $99 but the nights don't start till 9pm. Those two hours make a world of difference. That's ..... oh hell no! Never mind I'm not switching that's over 3000 minutes for those two hours everyday (within a month) and I definitely use them! Grrrr, but I REALLY want new phones! Maybe I should just find a hook up that works for Sprint. lol.
~ Nicole
I've wanted a tattoo for soooo long, the only thing stopping me is the 'what' and 'where'. I am not to crazy about having one on my ankle or arm where it is very out in the open, especially at work. But I didn't want one in a completely hidden area for two reasons. One cause DUH I want to show it off, and two all my hidden area's are so flubby I don't want even a tattoo artist to see it. And I don't particularly want to look at it either so the tattoo wouldn't get much attention. lol.
So me and my two sisters decided to get a tattoo of three stars signifying the three of us. We also decided to do it on the top of our foot. Right to the side of where a flip flop strap would be. This way if I wanted to or had to I could where a boot or pants to cover it at work if need be. But it is still very open with casual clothes if I want it to be. 
BUT OH MY GOOD LORD did it hurt! NEVER NEVER NEVER do your foot! I actually jerked it away at one point and got myself an extra little line added to the tattoo. Hopefully it will fade, the artist said it would because he wasn't pressing hard or anything when I jerked away.
Oh and here is a picture of Josh's. He got a big one on his arm. It's hot! 
And here we are all togeather with our matching tattoos! So freaking cute huh? WE want to add color eventually.
Here's one of my sister getting hers, and of my cousins. Isn't his out of this world? I love it but OMG would that hurt!
~ Nicole
God I feel so pathetic that this is what my life boils down to but seriously! This is some crazy shit! Remember how I told you about the woman that drives me freaking batty at work? And how she is 52 and has the hots for this 24 year old? Well let me give you some more juice about all this.
The other day she asked a guy that works with us (a gay guy) what a (and I quote her here) 'coochie stretch' is! NO FREAKING LIE! She said cause she's so much older and has had two kids she needs to work it into shape. Honey there is no going back! hahah. She said she thinks if she lost about 40 pounds she'd look to be about 30, I told her she would never look 30 and she got all upset and said I was saying that she looked like an old bag! You know what? She can think what she wants, but I am not lying to her. And she goes on and on about her boobs, she keeps saying they are 'pert' and 'nice' and I just want to first gag then scream 'STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU NASTY BOOB! THEY PROBABLY DRAG ON THE FLOOR WITHOUT A BRA!'.
Now don't get me wrong here, I don't want to start a riot, I don't by any means think all 50 year old women and nasty looking and ugly. But this one is! Sorry. She sells Mary Kay on the sides and it's a wonder anyone buys it from her since her make-up is so poorly done.
Okay I'm getting a little mean here, but she is driving me NUTS! Her husband (yes she's married!) is going away next month and this guy (the 24 yo) is throwing a party at her house! She's letting him. Like a huge kegger!
And here is the kicker.....tonight she bought him a $200 diamond ring!!!!!!! Actually it was a $300 ring but it was discounted since she works there! She's a nut case. And mean while I talk to this guy when she's not around and he laughs his ass off about her. He totally makes fun of her, and is using her for all the free lunches, clothes and now jewelry she buys him. Her oldest daughter is the same freaking age as him! This guy has a son the same age and her GRANDAUGHTER! Need I say any more??????
~ Nicole
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