Work/Mall gossip

God I feel so pathetic that this is what my life boils down to but seriously! This is some crazy shit! Remember how I told you about the woman that drives me freaking batty at work? And how she is 52 and has the hots for this 24 year old? Well let me give you some more juice about all this.

The other day she asked a guy that works with us (a gay guy) what a (and I quote her here) 'coochie stretch' is! NO FREAKING LIE! She said cause she's so much older and has had two kids she needs to work it into shape. Honey there is no going back! hahah. She said she thinks if she lost about 40 pounds she'd look to be about 30, I told her she would never look 30 and she got all upset and said I was saying that she looked like an old bag! You know what? She can think what she wants, but I am not lying to her. And she goes on and on about her boobs, she keeps saying they are 'pert' and 'nice' and I just want to first gag then scream 'STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU NASTY BOOB! THEY PROBABLY DRAG ON THE FLOOR WITHOUT A BRA!'.

Now don't get me wrong here, I don't want to start a riot, I don't by any means think all 50 year old women and nasty looking and ugly. But this one is! Sorry. She sells Mary Kay on the sides and it's a wonder anyone buys it from her since her make-up is so poorly done.

Okay I'm getting a little mean here, but she is driving me NUTS! Her husband (yes she's married!) is going away next month and this guy (the 24 yo) is throwing a party at her house! She's letting him. Like a huge kegger!

And here is the kicker.....tonight she bought him a $200 diamond ring!!!!!!! Actually it was a $300 ring but it was discounted since she works there! She's a nut case. And mean while I talk to this guy when she's not around and he laughs his ass off about her. He totally makes fun of her, and is using her for all the free lunches, clothes and now jewelry she buys him. Her oldest daughter is the same freaking age as him! This guy has a son the same age and her GRANDAUGHTER! Need I say any more??????

~ Nicole

Open mouth insert foot

Last night my mom had all her kids over for dinner. Now that my youngest sister has moved out and my other sister with her baby is now living elsewhere with her boyfriend, she (mom) only has my brother in the house with her and my dad. Oh and my grandmom lives with them. But Jose is barley there that much anyway. Soooo she has decided to make a every other Sunday family dinner for us all to go to. I like the idea.

Josh was of course invited but didn't come cause the Eagles were playing. Yeah he thinks the games all weigh in on him being at home with the TV in the right place and him wearing the right Eagles attire. I'm so not joking. One time they lost and he said it was all my fault cause I didn't have his grey boxers cleaned and he was wearing blue ones instead (wrong color). lol. MEN! So he stayed home cause they only win when he's home.

Anywooo, after dinner we were all having coffee and ice cream. And no surprise but me my sisters and Kristin (my youngest sisters housemate) ended up sitting at the table long after everyone else was done and doing other things. What do girls do when eating ice cream, drinking coffee, and left to themselves? Gossip!

My mom had just informed us of a young girl from our church was pregnant and so it sparked the topic of how many girls from a certain generation of youth in our church got pregnant. I know we are horrible, but whatever my sister and Kristins sister were included on the list.

About half way into our conversation a friend of my mom's walked into the house and went right into the kitchen. Me, Hannah and Kristin all saw this but since Sarah had her back to the door she didn't. Bad bad thing.

About a minute later I turned to Kristin and said another name, I whispered it cause it was the daughter of the woman that just walked into our house. Not even ten seconds later Sarah yells out the same name! Me, Hannah, and Kristin stare at her with wide eyes of horror and bust out laughing.

Sarah's all "What?" then after we told her that that girls mom was in the other room she says all loud "Oh I didn't mean so and so I meant (another person's name)" OMG she was so bad at trying to play it off. But it was really funny! I'm just glad I didn't say it. Cause even if she didn't know what we were talking about it was obvious we were gossiping and it's never good to hear your child's name thrown into it.

Opps. Can't wait to see what happens at our next family dinner.

~ Nicole