Yesterday Dylan, Izzy, Myself, Holly and Daphne had an email debate on a few things. And since I don't really think any of us ended up agreeing with each other (except for Dylan and Holly) I wanted to open it up to all of you.
It started off with me bringing up the fact that a stripper in Vegas that I thought was hot ended up not being when I actually saw a picture one of us got of his entire face. See that night he had a hat on that covered his eyes and most of his nose. To my surprise though not everyone, barley anyone, agreed with me. So I got to thinking....I always thought men were either hot, cute, okay or ugly and that everyone would agree on what category a man would fall in. I mean if he's hot he's hon and if he's not he's not right? Well obviously not. I will post a picture of the one I don't think is hot, and a picture of one I really thought was hot. Now both Dylan and Holly's opinions on these two guys are complete opposite of my thoughts...What do you think?
HOT
NOT
I guess sometimes it falls into what do you like? Blond? Light? Brown eyes? Etc. Etc. But when a guy has a big nose, sunken eyes and long pushed back teeth with bad lips I would think he is just ugly. lol. See how different we can all be. But moving on here.....
That was not the only thing we all disagreed on yesterday. I also said that I think strip clubs for men vs. women are totally different. And that I think a lap dance for a woman is more okay than for a guy. Take for example when we got our dances. The music was modern pop it wasn't sooooo dark, we were all together laughing and yelling. The guys actually would pose for pictures as they were doing the dances. It was more in fun then let me turn you on. Now down stairs where the women danced my husband also got a dance along with a few other men. Down there it is dark the women don't dance they gyrate their hips on a pole and slap their boobs around, then when they give you a dance there is nothing fun about it. It is all about turning the men on and such. I mean come on the woman asked my husband if he wanted to go into the VIP room in the back for a half hour, it would only be $300 and she would ..... yeah I think you know. And your gonna tell me that there is no differences between the two? You can't even have a camera where the girls dance. If it is the same why is that different?
I'm gonna let you see some of the emails going back and forth between us girls. Then I want your opinions too. But don't get confused if we jump around a lot down here, there were over 100 emails and so I'll just be posting up a few.
(okay so the day started with a few emails back and forth on men being hot or not, then it moved on to strip clubs. I took a break from emailing since I wasn't feeling well, and when I got back there were a ton of emails. I'll show you a few then I'll show you my responses.)
Dylan:
Hey wait...so how did the whole strip clubbing business come around? So did you guys change your mind the whole touching is cheating business at the strip club? Cause you naughty girls were all about the touching, LMAO.
(she is saying this cause my rule always was you can go but you can't touch, but you'll see in my next email what my thoughts were behind letting it be in Vegas)
Holly:
The atmosphere is different from the men and women. Where the girls are, it's dark and quiet and the guys just sit and drool, they don't talk or laugh or whatever. But with the men, the girls are all wild and crazy, snapping pics and cat calling, plus, it's darker where the girls are. That's why she says it's different.
I disagree. What's good for the gander is good for the goose, but whatever. The thing is, having been there now, it didn't bother me at all to see MM in the strip club. Even knowing a stripper sat on his lap and he touched her boob doesn't' bother me. But whatever, Niks is weird. LOL
Izzy:
The way I see it, yeah we drooled over the guys, but we're screaming, laughing giggling, and all that. We go to have fun and have a few laughs. Guy go to get horny.
Dylan:
Alright, this is going to be our first debate Nikki...because I don't see how the whole atmosphere being different to be a factor in why it's okay for you to get lap dances but not Josh...no matter what kind of atmosphere there are at the strip club, these are the facts: Some guy is dancing all up on you and you're touching his family jewels and just having a good time, as long as you don't go home with the guy, why can't Josh do the same? Josh paid for his lap dance, so he cops a feel on the girl, she does a little dance for him, throws her boobs in his face, whatever...at the end of the night, Josh comes home to you, so regardless of the atmosphere, if it's okay for you to get your fun on with a stripper, then why is it a big deal if Josh is doing the same?
Me:
Ummmm, NO! Goodness, I go take a rest and you girls get it all mixed up! lol. I had no problem with Josh getting a lap dance in Vegas. But my rule still stands that he can't ever get one again. Over in Vegas it's like that saying "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" DON'T BRING IT HOME! Now can Josh go to strip clubs here? If it is for a bachelor party yes, just to hang no. That's my rules plain and simple.
Is it different for guys and girls? (lap dances/strip clubs) YES! Don't know why but it is. The guys sit and drink and look at a girl with barley any panties on gyrate her hips on a pole the entire reason for a lap dance is to get them all horny. For the women the guys were really dancing to pop music and they were laughing and having a good time. When we got a dance they would strike a pose for a picture. IF you want to say it's the same thing why can't the men take pictures? Cause it's not the same at all.
But in saying all that, I wasn't mad at Josh for his lap dances. I thought I would be but when he told me I didn't' care.
Oh and how bout this.....the girl that danced for Josh asked him if he wanted to go to the VIP room and said it would be $300 for a half hour and she would suck his dick! Hmmmm, how many guys offered to eat us? Yeah didn't think so. VERY different!
Dylan:
Okay nowhere did we mention anything about blow jobs, that's a different debate, one we'll ALL be on the same page about...but we're talking lap dances, doing the same thing YOU GUYS did at the strip club, none of this bringing in other stuff nobody knew about.
As far as bringing it home...so you're saying that Josh can't go to strip clubs at home at all, but you can? Right? That's what I remember you saying, which is what sparked the whole goose and gander thing...so can he and can you?
Me:
Josh has before and I'm still fine with him going to a strip club FOR A BACHLOR PARTY ONLY! I do not think it is okay for him to just go for the heck of it.
I will probably only ever go to a strip club if my sisters want to go. Neither have gone and if they go I'll go with them. But will I make a weekend trip thing out of it all the time? NO. I don't think it's good for either guys or girls to do that all the time.
And the blow job thing is part of it, cause that is why it is not okay for lap dances, and why it is different for men. Cause that is what happens some of the time. And it has nothing to do with OUR guys it has to do with the girls. I mean really think about it, do you hear of girls going to strip clubs and get guys offering to go down on them in a VIP room for $300???
Holly:
So by your own admission it's ok for you to go with your sisters, but it's not ok for josh unless he's going to a bachelor party? HELLO DOUBLE STANDARDS! And it is NOT different because of the blow job thing. PuhLEEZ! I think what it comes down to is if you guy WOULD TAKE THE BJ OR NOT! So...unless you think he's screwing around on you, I don't see why you'd get upset...
Me:
No that's not right at all. His bachelor party thing is the same as my sister thing. Both puts limits on how often we would go. Josh goes to a bachelor party what? Maybe two a year, max. I would go with my sisters once for their first time. So that's about the same. What is the double standard there? And I don't care how much anyone argues there are major differences in the atmosphere in both clubs, and a difference in the lap dances. And it has nothing to do with trusting Josh isn't screwing around on me. There are some situations you just shouldn't be in, plain and simple. And one where a naked woman is offering to suck your dick after just rubbing her scantly clad pussy on it is one of those situations. And Josh agrees. That was his first lap dance(s) and he's done. He has no issue with going with his buddies for a B party and watching the groom get a big joking lap dance IN FRONT OF THEM ALL, but those kinds are all in good fun.
Dylan:
That still don't make a lick of sense, Nicole.
It shouldn't be okay for you to go to strip clubs to get lap dances but not okay for Josh. And you say that it's because of the offers he gets that he can't get those, I can't see why you would punish JOSH for something someone else said or offered. Now I'd only see it being an issue if Josh actually took the offer then yeah, BIG NO NO and NO MORE STRIP CLUB and big time DIVORCE but that is a big time DOUBLE STANDARD, if you can go but he can't. If Josh can't go to strip clubs than you shouldn't be able to go with your sisters. Because you never know, maybe the next strip club YOU will get the offer, you wouldn't want Josh to get mad at you because of something someone else offered? You didn't take it but you still got punished for it, where's the fairness in that?
Me:
I DID NOT say that he couldn't go to the clubs. I said he can't get lap dances. And even though I do think there are big differences in the dances girls and guys give I still am not going to be getting any more. And how am I having a double standard? Didn't you read what I wrote about me going with my sisters will end up being less of an amount of time then when Josh goes for his B parties? I am so not getting what is wrong with what I'm saying.
And that is dumb for saying it only matters if he takes the bait. It's like saying to Josh "Okay you can go out with your brother and his friends while they smoke pot as long as you don't accept when they offer it to you." Ummm No he just should not be there. Hello!
(Just for the record his brother doesn't smoke pot, I was just using that for an example.)
Daphne:
i think what nikks is trying to say is that.. .it's better to have preventative controls than detection controls. better to not put josh in the path where he could be tempted to do things like that (preventative) rather than find out later and get in a fight (detection)
Holly:
Which I understand. However, my issue is with her saying she'd get another lap dance, but Josh can't. How is THAT ok?
Me:
Umm if I said that it was a miss-type cause I think just a post or two ago I said that there are major differences in the two different type of lap dances but at the same time I won't be getting another.
Holly:
See, but I disagree, because even tho she's saying she doesn't want another one, she did say it would be OK if she wanted to, because it's not like it is when the men get them. See....
There are a lot more where that came from but I think you get the point of all of our sides. So now....what do you think??? Or maybe is it not as black and white to you? Fill me in, I'm all kinds of eager to hear your thoughts.
~ Nicole
Normally they would just get up and come to my room but that would mean walking through the living room that the tree was in. I guess they wanted me to be there with them. So I went to their rooms and we walked out together. They were sooo excited when they saw all the presents. lol, then they ran upstairs to wake Josh up.
But they had a great time. By 11:30am we were on our way to my parents house. My mom hooked me up with a few sweaters and jeans from my favorite store NY&C, sneakers, and slippers. My sisters got me a gift card to get a pedi/mani (soooo excited about this!) a new purse and wristlet! Love my sistas. My brother didn't do gifts since he is jobless but he cooked us all a fabulous brunch. If he wasn't going to school to be some political big wig I'd say he should be a world renowned chef. The boy can cook! lol.
Usually my mother in law takes us out shopping and we just pick out our own gifts. This year I guess she thought she'd give it a shot on her own. All I can say is she got the gist of it right. I loved the two sweaters from NY&C she got me, can't go wrong in that store, but the rest? Well I wanted a robe, I got one, most uncomfortable material ever though. I wanted a track suit, got one in again the most horrible material. PJ's? To small, that's always embarrassing. lol. And to top it all off she got us a new bed set. Josh told me about it before Christmas and showed me what it looked like and I told him I didn't like it at all. He told her and she still gave it to us, which just made for some uncomfortable moments when I asked her for the receipt for it cause I didn't like it.
I know I sound like an ungrateful bitch here, but I'm not. Really. haha. I love my in laws. And my mother in law is great, she always over does it. But I don't know that she really does all that great on her own, picking gifts. We work better as a team. Although she was the ONLY one that remembered I collect Willow Tree Figurines. She got me the Wisdom one that is of a girl sitting down reading a book. Perfect for me.
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