Wednesday, April 26, 2006

It's Time for Sandals!

Just a friendly reminder, it's that time of the year again. Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:

As a member of the Faux Paux Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs (potato heel). And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will get a pedicure and vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe. I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tap! e, pin, glue or tuck it back in to place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr.Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes look like they've been dragged behind her car on the way to work and no sandal in the world is going to make her feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals...

For all our sakes, please don't keep this to yourself - pass it on to other Sisters. May God Bless your Soles as well as your Soul!

American Idol

OMG if there is one thing every week I cannot miss it is American Idol. And it's kinda funny cause I always watch the very beginning of the show when the judges go from City to City and we see all the auditions. I always get a kick outta that part, then I usually skip over the part when they first go to Hollywood. I usually don't start to watch it again till they are down to the final 12. Well this year I was pleasantly surprised to see a lot of the people I really liked in the auditions go to the finals. Some are gone now, like Lisa Tucker, but a lot are still here, Katherine, Chris, Elliot..... So every Tuesday and wendsday I race to the t.v. dying to hear my favorites singing for me again.

Last night I had to work so I tivo'd AI, but the second I got home I know you can guess what I did....Yup you got it. AI was on the t.v. not a second after I got in. I was a little worried about last night because Andrea B. was the singing coach, and I thought they were going to have to sing his music. I was like "hmmmm, opera? Chris? Ummm, NO!" lol, but thankfully it was just 'Love songs'. Still I was a little worried for my man Chris, soft music isn't really his thing. Well at least that's what I thought before last night. OMG was I the only one that was totally blown away? I think he knocked it out of the park! I am so not even going to delete it off of my tivo just so I can listen to him sing that song over and over and over. LOVE HIM! This morning I was dropping my husband off at work and was listening to the radio and they were talking about the show and so they would play bits of the contestants songs on the radio, and Chris sounded just as good on radio as he did on tv. I was however shocked to hear the radio d.j.'s (Chio in the morning, on 94.5 fm)saying that they thought he yelled some of the song. What??? Are they nuts? So I'm wondering, what did everyone else think? Cause me I didn't think there could be one faulty thing to say about Chris, but obviously my praise of him isn't everyone's thoughts.

Now Katherine was a different story. I thought she did good, well better than good. I don't think she picked a song that was to big for her, cause I think she definitely has the voice to carry that song. But I don't think she gave it her all. There were parts were I was expecting her to belt it out and I was a little let down. I don't think she did as bad as the judges were going on and on about. Yet again the d.j.'s this morning were singing her praises as if it were her best performance yet. Which lets all admit the truth...while she's one of my favorites, it was not her best to date. And OMG was it just me or was she showing more than she was covering? Okay I'll admit if I had the boobs I probably wouldn't have hesitated to wear a dress with that top, but it was soooo see through when the lights were on her, and the slit? OMG, there was one part where she moved and I thought we were going to see all the way up to .... yeah you know where. lol. And someone really should have told her that her underwear was digging into her hips giving her panty lines. Oppps, little dress malfunction last night. But you know when it comes down to it, Kat is in my top two along with Chris. So I love her.

Now I have been a fan of Elliot from day one. I know, I know, everyone says he doesn't have the AI 'look'. But you know what, look at a lot of singers that have been up there at one point and time that were so not attractive. Baby Face, Boyz II Men, Justin Timberlake (yes I went there Dylan, lol) and on and on. If you have the voice and make it big, people tend to fall for you weather you've got the looks or not. We fall for the voice for the magic. Elliot has the magic, just close your eyes and you can get swept away with his voice. But in saying all that I didn't think last night was out of this world. I thought he did great but the way the judges were going on you would have thought he freaking brought down the house. Maybe it was just the song since it wasn't one I knew really well. Who knows.

As for the rest, I can run through them in a few sentences or less. Kelly, good voice but boring song, no emotion. Tyler, good voice, not great, okay performance. Paris, no denying she has a strong voice, but for some reason she doesn't do it for me, I don't get excited over her.

But all that is just me. And I'm curious, what do all of you think? Am I right? Were the judges right? Were the radio D.J.'s right?

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Bridesmaid Bitches

My best friend in the entire world is getting married this summer. And obviously since she's my bestest friend, I am the matron of honor. Which before I go any farther, let me point out that I think Matron of Honor makes me sound old and boring. I mean just the word 'Matron', I don't know why but it just bothers me. lol. But anyway back to the story. The wedding is in July and besides me there are 5 bridesmaids. Well we had little issues here and there when it came down to picking dresses and stuff, but no matter what I think you always have to expect that when trying to get a bunch of girls to pick one dress. But let me tell you while trying to plan the shower I have seen the Bitch in these Bridesmaids that makes me shutter. One of the girls acually had the nerve to tell me that she thought I was asking them to put in to much money and she just cannot do that so she will send me what she can. Umm, did she think I was asking? NO! I was telling her how much she needed to give me. She is the grooms sister, she wanted to be in the wedding. When you say yes to being in a wedding you say yes to all the finances that come along with it. I don't give a rat's ass if you don't have a ton of money, or if you live outta state, or any other excuse. If you didn't have the finances you should have said you couldn't be in the wedding, or in this case if you didn't have the money you shouldn't have made a fuss about wanting to be in the wedding. I don't know if she thinks we are all going to just pick up the slack and pay her share but she sure as hell has another thing coming if she does. OMG the girl is freaking lucky that she does live outta state cause if she was close enough I'd be very tempted to go over to her and show her how pissed she got me! And the thing is out of all the bridesmaids the ones giving me the most trouble are the grooms sisters. The ones that WANTED to be in the wedding soooo bad! Well let me say to all you future brides out there, choose your bridal party well. Choose YOUR friends, not your grooms family. Choose girls that love you and want your day and your shower to be special for you. And if I may say so pick a matron of honor like me, one that doesn't give a flying F about anything except making my best friends shower and wedding perfect. No matter how many Bitches I have to put in their place. lol.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Smoking

Anyone who knows me knows I don't smoke and I don't by anymeans hate smokers themselves but I do hate the habit. I think it is nasty and I think it is selfish, and I think it is rude especially in places where people who do not choose to partake in this habit have to inhale the smoke. So in saying that let me tell you when the new law in NJ just passed saying that smoking in public places was banned I was jumping for joy. Woo Hooo, no more going to restaurants and sitting in non-smoking just to have the smoke from the smoking section float over the 4 foot sectional that the restaurant thinks makes any type of difference. Or no more going to a pizza place or bowling ally with my kids and having second hand smoke puffed into their little bodies. I especially like that there is a certain distance, I don't know what, that smokers have to stay away from the entrances of buildings when smoking. I hated leaving the mall having to run through a wall of smoke to get to my car cause 20 people would stand right out front of the doors puffing away. And people may say I'm extreme and I am mean and not caring about the rights of the smokers, but here's what I say. What about me! What about my KIDS! Why has everyone been catering to smokers for so long? Does my not smoking cause cancer for others? Does my not smoking intrude on others personal space? NO. So I say good for the government for acually making a stand for the health of the people.
Know you would think that all non smokers would be for this and all non totally against it. Not so true. Let me tell you about my Easter holiday at my aunts house. Here's how it started, wait acually before I get into how it started let me give you some background information. My grandmother used to be a chain smoker and a heavy drinker. She gave up both habits years and years ago and is now about the biggest health freak you would ever know. My cousin lives in NY and is right around my age, and she is a current smoker. So in saying that let me move onto Easter again. Me and my cousin are sitting at the counter eating our food when I over hear my grandmom going on about the new law being passed, and I thought I heard her saying something about not being for it. Knowing my gram as I do I thought I must have heard wrong. So I got into the conversation and asked her what she thought and I was shocked to hear her say she really didn't agree with the law. But her reasoning was that the government was imposing on peoples private lives. WTF??? Private lives??? It is not private when they do it in PUBLIC! And that is what I told her, and low and behold my cousin (the smoker) agreed with me. My uncle and grandmom proceeded to tell us that it would mess with the restaurant owners business, so basically they were telling me that if it messes with the owners income it's okay to kill people. Since second hand smoke is just as bad if not worse than first hand. Am I right??? I think so. Then my cousin said that they haven't been able to smoke in bars etc. In NY for years now, and people still go. What do they think if you can't smoke people are going to sit in their houses and sulk forever? No they'll get over it, if they want a drink they'll go to the bar, if they are hungry they'll go out to eat, if they wanna see girls strip they'll sure as hell go to a strip club. Yes it may be inconvenient but hopfully it'll help some quite, or at least cut back. Goodness just goes to show that you just never know what some people think, no matter how much you know them. Or think you do. She says "Then Jazz you think it's okay for the government to tell everyone what they can and cannot do?" Well NO, but I do think when it affects the entire population it is a government call. And in this case they made the right call. So hope nobody hates me for this post. But if your my friend you already know how I feel and know that even if you smoke I love you, just hate the smoke. LOL. LOVE you Holly! LOL....

Friday, April 21, 2006

What bothers me....

Okay I'm mid read on a book and one thing in the begins bothered me and I don't get why. Or maybe I do get why and it is just a dumb why. Okay here's the thing, I get that in reality when you meet somebody what they did in the past and with who can not be changed and shouldn't be held against them, but for some reason in the books I read I hold a different view. Like the "hero" in the book I'm reading sleeps with this actress cause he comes into his room and she's in his bed blah blah blah blah blah, right? Well he has already met the "heroine" but they only said like two sentences to each other, but I still got pissed that he slept with the other girl. Like since I know he's going to end up with the "heroine" I feel like he cheated on her already, which of course isn't true. I know it all sounds dumb but there it is, "What bothers me...."

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Pissed off and so much more!

Acually pissed off doesn't even begin to tell you my mood. It all started last night, my mood went from bored to confused to highly stressed to freaking out to pissed off to hystarical. And now I am beat tired and pissed off! So I'm sure your all wondering what happed.

Well let me start off with saying my wonderful husband suprised me with a new wedding set for Valentines day. Beautiful ring and wedding band.

Well yesterday I was working and it was pretty slow so I was cleaning my ring in the cleaner and all of the sudden we got customers, so I put my ring that I was drying in a paper towl down and went to help people. Meanwhile I forgot about my ring, I went out of the store to walk around and when I came back they were taking out the trash.

About 1 hour before we were about to close I realized I didn't have my ring on, so I was like 'oh yeah, it's in the cleaner' well I went and looked but it wasn't there, that's when I realized I had left it laying in a paper towl on the top of the cleaner. That's when the panic set in.

I start looking everywhere for it, can't find it. Look in the trash and remember it was taken out already. OMG, I am getting hystarical! I go and look in the dumpster and can't see a freaking thing, it's to dark. So I run back into the store and call security to ask for a flash light. OMG these rent-a-cops are so stupid! He was no help and held the light like 5 feet away from where I needed it.

So finally after alot more digging in trash and getting pissed off at everything under the sun I went home....to tell my husband about the ring. He suprisingly wasn't as pissed as I tought he'd be.

So this morning I get up at 5:30am to go back and be there when the trash men come so I can get in more, yes I know you all wanna make trash picking jokes, but what would you have done??? Well after sitting there for 2 1/2 hours and getting voice mail after voice mail I finally talk to someone only to find out they only empty that one on mondays! Yes monday it is now only wens. can you imagine how much trash will be there by monday!

Well the guy was really nice and gave me upper managements number, and so now I am crossing my fingers and hoping the message I left for the other guy touches his heart or something and he helps me out sooner than monday.