Birthdays and hurt...

I don't have a lot to say right now or a lot of time. But as I was thinking earlier today about what to buy my mom and sister for their birthdays I was struck by how hard our birthdays are going to be both this year and every year.

Within a month my mom me and my other sister all have birthdays...the usual birthday thing with us is a birthday breakfast. Even since I've married and moved out my mom has tried to keep the tradition with either Josh doing it and them coming over or me just going there. But birthdays are always with family. So with Hannah's death so recent and all three of us having our birthdays I just have to wonder how it will be.

This was Hannah's 20th Birthday this past April:


I'm sure there will be moments that we're having fun laughing and then the laughter will turn to tears without any warning just cause we'll realize Hannah's not there. She was so much fun. Always making everyone crack up laughing.



Then with gifts....I saw this glass heart that you can have a picture etched in and I wanted it to get it for myself to hang on my rear view mirror in my car. Then I was like 'good idea, I'll get one for my mom' then josh said to get one for Sarah too. At first I thought it was a good idea, I mean I know they would want one, but will it just bring more sadness to their birthdays if I give them something in memory of Hannah? Should I just make it a non-birthday gift and find something else for their birthdays?

I'll tell you one thing Army Wives is like therapy for me right now. Anyone watching this show will know. Sometimes I just want to cry out my pain and every time I watch it it hits right on some of my feelings with Hannah and I have a good cry.

She always was sure of herself and how cute she looked, especially when she was going out:


~ Nicole

WE GOT IT! WE GOT IT!.....We're growing in leaps and bounds!

Remember I told you all that the house we wanted to rent fell through? Well we've been looking like CRAZY ever since trying to find something to move into by 6/1....well we looked at a few this weekend and saw one we REALLY liked.

It's a townhouse, 3 bedrooms (large ones!), 1.5 bathrooms, living room, dinning room, eat in kitchen, family room, wash room, yard, and garage. It's two levels and I loved it at first site! Josh was a bit weary when we pulled up cause there seemed to be lots of people out (it's on a culdesac) but I love that. Neighbors you can talk to and know, kids to play with ours. And Josh said it didn't' look like it was going to be big enough. He was pleasantly surprised. We both ended up loving it. It is a block and a half from the school Jordon will be going to (he'll be a walker), and the school is a good one.

The landlord just called 10 minutes ago and said it's ours! WE FREAKING GOT IT!!! We sign the lease this weekend and move in June 1st! I'm sooooo happy, excited, and relieved. Come on everyone...big sigh of relief!

On other news. This past weekend I went to a surprise birthday party for two of my aunts. One was turning 40 and one 50, the one that turned 40 lives in Florida and came down for the surprise. So in talking to Missy (40 yr.) I told her how I keep in touch with her son and my other cousin from Florida via myspace. She then asked me if Anna (my cousin) showed me pictures of her sister. I just looked at her...NOBODY even told me my aunt was pregnant again! I was so mad! This is the conversation we had:

Me: Uh, this is going to sound really bad...but I didn't' know Cookie was pregnant.
Missy: Oh nobody did.
Me: (thinking it is really odd that she kept her pregnancy a secret, what is it? A love child not from her husband???) Ummm, okay. Well how old is the baby?
Missy: 19
Me: What?
Missy: 19
Me: (looking at her like she's nuts) What are you talking about?
Missy: Cookie had a baby when she was a teenager and gave her up for adoption. She just found Cookie about 6 months ago.

Yup, can anyone explain why I was like the only person in my family that didn't know this! When I asked my mom why she didn't tell me she first acted shocked that I didn't know, "how did you not know that?", I mean the obvious reason is because SHE is my mother and she didn't tell me. Then she says "don't you remember me telling you that all Cookie's friends thought Hannah (my youngest sister) was Cookies baby and I took her to raise her since they look alike?" Me, "NO, I think I'd remember that!" Sheesh!

So I just found a long lost cousin, I've been myspace messaging with her since this weekend. My cousin's girlfriend had a baby last weekend, my other cousin's wife is due any time now....AND I found out another aunt of mine gave a baby up for adoption awhile ago (she/he would be around 21 now) my mom's step mom gave a baby up for adoption before (she would be around 35ish, or younger) and I knew my cousin gave a baby up about 7 or 8 years ago. OMG! Is this not all a bit crazy?!

Let me just tell you how big my family already is, and this is just my mom's side! My mom is one of 10, all my aunts and one uncle have kids, there are 28 cousins in all, and there are 6 great cousins. I guess that's what they'd be called. Actually there are 7 if you count the one my cousin gave up for adoption. Sheesh. Oh and the cousin that just found my aunt is pregnant, so there's another one. lol.

Thank God I don't buy for everyone in my family for the holidays, huh? I'd be more broke than I already am. But in all honesty? I love my family, and I love that it's a large one. The more the merrier.


*the baby is my cousins baby girl. the picture of all the women are my aunts, my mom is the second in from the left. the other pics are of me, brother, sister, mom, and cousin.*

~ Nicole

Caption this!

1.


Or this...

2.


~ Nicole

23 and counting, amoung other random things.

24....that's how many boxes I have packed as of right now.

1 is full of photo albums and framed pictures.

2 are full of kitchen stuff

21 are full of my books!

Josh says I officially have issues and need to get rid of alot of them. I just can't do it though.

**********************************************************

I went to see TMNT last night with my parents and my kids. They treated, it was really nice.

Some funny things?

I went to Dunkin Donuts before I got there and bought my parents coffee and the kids doughnut holes. Then snuck them in inside my HUMONGOUS pures. lol. People make fun of my over sized bags but they wouldn't be able to sneak food into the theaters without it now would they? Hmmm. I had books and all arranged around so the coffee's wouldn't spill, then I laid one of Abby's dolls over the top so nobody could see in.

When I got in the theater I noticed that there were subtitles on the screen. That annoyed me because everything annoys me. So of course I am sitting there complaining about the stupid words on the screen.

Then the kid behind us is being ungodly loud, I keep shooting his parents looks, and was being my normal rude self since I was being inconvenienced during a movie I was watching. But I soon looked like the fool I was....why? I look back and caught the parent signing to the kid. Yeah, he was deaf, that's why there were subtitles and why he was grunting and being loud. I felt like an ass. lol.

Oh well live and learn.

**********************************************************

My family is crazy. NO really I am not joking.

Remember awhile ago I posted something about that custom made jewelry party I was having? Well my mom decided to have a party last week. Me and one of my friends from work went, she had never met my parents yet. I warned her but I still don't think she was prepared.

Towards the end of the party my mom got to pick out a bracelet for free. So she did and then was adding her two charms to it, first a prayer box, THEN........she wanted the Star of David. This is what happened:

Mom: Can I get the Star of David?
Me: NO!
Mom: Why not?
Me: Your not Jewish! Why would you want that?
Mom: It looks nicer than the regular star.
***then she looks at my friend Jamie and says***I can get it right?
Jamie: Ummm, no.
Mom: Fine, what else is there?
***after we look around for awhile she see's a picture of this hand with a heart in it....and the following happens***
Mom: OMG I WANT THAT! I LOVE IT!!!!
Lory (the sales woman): Okay, sure.
****about 20 min. later and Lory is packing up. Me, Jamie, my mom, brother, sister, dad and grandmom are sitting around the table in the other room.****
Mom: I wanted the Star of David
Jose: Mom your not Jewish.
Grandmom:Why would you want that Beth?
Mom: It looked nice. And my father was Jewish.
Jose: Mom your father was Italian.
Mom: No my Father in Heaven!
All of us: OMG mom be serious! lol.
Dad: Beth it's your bracelet! Get what you want.
Mom: I WANT THE STAR OF DAVID!!!!! I WANT IT!
Me: Mom! Use your normal voice and go into the other room and tell Lory!
Lory: Oh, were you talking to me?
***after my mom finished up her order and Lory tells her she'll get it in about 2 weeks.***
Mom: I DON'T WANT TO WAIT! I WANT IT NOW!!!

I just shook my head and walked away. She really doesn't think she is acting crazy when she does things like that. And I really think she got the Star of David on her bracelet. People are gonna think she's crazy.

~ Nicole

I'm so jealous!

My baby sister just got herself an apartment. Her and a friend moved in together in the city close to their college but not on campus.

When I went to visit her it was in the ghetto, kinda, third floor, no elevator) small little kitchen, horrible view. And I was soooo jealous!!! Why? Cause I never got that. I never did any of that. I went from high school, to engaged, to married.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to not have Josh and my kids. I love them all. But do you ever feel a pang of jealousy for what you never had?

But in general I am so happy for my sister. And she's not that far from me. I actually told Josh I was going to be single for a week and go stay with her. Yeah, he laughed at me.

The picture is of my sister and my baby.

~ Nicole

Open mouth insert foot

Last night my mom had all her kids over for dinner. Now that my youngest sister has moved out and my other sister with her baby is now living elsewhere with her boyfriend, she (mom) only has my brother in the house with her and my dad. Oh and my grandmom lives with them. But Jose is barley there that much anyway. Soooo she has decided to make a every other Sunday family dinner for us all to go to. I like the idea.

Josh was of course invited but didn't come cause the Eagles were playing. Yeah he thinks the games all weigh in on him being at home with the TV in the right place and him wearing the right Eagles attire. I'm so not joking. One time they lost and he said it was all my fault cause I didn't have his grey boxers cleaned and he was wearing blue ones instead (wrong color). lol. MEN! So he stayed home cause they only win when he's home.

Anywooo, after dinner we were all having coffee and ice cream. And no surprise but me my sisters and Kristin (my youngest sisters housemate) ended up sitting at the table long after everyone else was done and doing other things. What do girls do when eating ice cream, drinking coffee, and left to themselves? Gossip!

My mom had just informed us of a young girl from our church was pregnant and so it sparked the topic of how many girls from a certain generation of youth in our church got pregnant. I know we are horrible, but whatever my sister and Kristins sister were included on the list.

About half way into our conversation a friend of my mom's walked into the house and went right into the kitchen. Me, Hannah and Kristin all saw this but since Sarah had her back to the door she didn't. Bad bad thing.

About a minute later I turned to Kristin and said another name, I whispered it cause it was the daughter of the woman that just walked into our house. Not even ten seconds later Sarah yells out the same name! Me, Hannah, and Kristin stare at her with wide eyes of horror and bust out laughing.

Sarah's all "What?" then after we told her that that girls mom was in the other room she says all loud "Oh I didn't mean so and so I meant (another person's name)" OMG she was so bad at trying to play it off. But it was really funny! I'm just glad I didn't say it. Cause even if she didn't know what we were talking about it was obvious we were gossiping and it's never good to hear your child's name thrown into it.

Opps. Can't wait to see what happens at our next family dinner.

~ Nicole

Christmas 2006, part 4

Read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3



Okay, okay I know it's been a long time coming. You know, this final part of my Christmas Story. So here it is ... 7:30am and I haven't even slept 5 full hours but my kids are up and yelling for me.




Normally they would just get up and come to my room but that would mean walking through the living room that the tree was in. I guess they wanted me to be there with them. So I went to their rooms and we walked out together. They were sooo excited when they saw all the presents. lol, then they ran upstairs to wake Josh up.



It was so funny cause Abby was opening gifts sooo fast so she had almost all her gifts open and Jordon was on like his third.


But they had a great time. By 11:30am we were on our way to my parents house. My mom hooked me up with a few sweaters and jeans from my favorite store NY&C, sneakers, and slippers. My sisters got me a gift card to get a pedi/mani (soooo excited about this!) a new purse and wristlet! Love my sistas. My brother didn't do gifts since he is jobless but he cooked us all a fabulous brunch. If he wasn't going to school to be some political big wig I'd say he should be a world renowned chef. The boy can cook! lol.

Anyway, of course they got Josh and the kids good stuff too. But hey we're gonna make that part about me.

After hanging with my family some more we headed over to Josh's parents house for dinner, an Eagles game and some more gifts. Fun fun. lol.

Usually my mother in law takes us out shopping and we just pick out our own gifts. This year I guess she thought she'd give it a shot on her own. All I can say is she got the gist of it right. I loved the two sweaters from NY&C she got me, can't go wrong in that store, but the rest? Well I wanted a robe, I got one, most uncomfortable material ever though. I wanted a track suit, got one in again the most horrible material. PJ's? To small, that's always embarrassing. lol. And to top it all off she got us a new bed set. Josh told me about it before Christmas and showed me what it looked like and I told him I didn't like it at all. He told her and she still gave it to us, which just made for some uncomfortable moments when I asked her for the receipt for it cause I didn't like it.

I know I sound like an ungrateful bitch here, but I'm not. Really. haha. I love my in laws. And my mother in law is great, she always over does it. But I don't know that she really does all that great on her own, picking gifts. We work better as a team. Although she was the ONLY one that remembered I collect Willow Tree Figurines. She got me the Wisdom one that is of a girl sitting down reading a book. Perfect for me.

And she did a ton of great outfits for the kids among other things.

Later that night we went to go home but had to swing by my parents house cause I forgot my phone there earlier. Well we ended up playing a card game called canasta from 9:30pm to 1:30am! lol, but it was lots of fun.

2:00am we unloaded all the gifts from our car and called it a night.

And a GREAT Christmas was had by all.




~ Nicole

Christmas 2006, part 3.

Read Part 1 and Part 2

Finally we pick up the kids from my In Laws and get to my aunts house for the party. Everyone else has been there for well over an hour, but of course the party doesn't start till I arrive. lol.

It was a fun time, I always enjoy getting together with all my aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Here's a pic of me and my sisters with our girl cousins. The only one's missing are my three in Florida and the youngest (2) who is running around.

I love this picture of me and my mom. Isn't she to freaking cute and funny! I love my mom.

Okay I know this one was short, but nothing overly exciting happened. We just all hung out and had a good time with each other.

Me Josh and the kids left around 10pm and got home put the kids to bed and then I stayed up till 2:30am in the morning wrapping gifts. Only to be woken up by very excited kids at 7:30am. Uggg, but it was all worth it....but that's for part 4.

And since I'm super tired right now, that will have to wait till tomorrow.

~ Nicole

Christmas 2006, part 2.

Read Part 1

It's Christmas Eve and I have to be to work by 11am, and I only work till 5pm. Which normally I'd be overjoyed since I've never had that great of hours on Christmas Eve before. BUT....there was one last gift I needed to get my daughter so I needed to run to two Targets (in case the first didn't have it) and they closed at 6pm. Cutting it close.

But I was determined to have a great day. I wasn't going to let anyone bring my mood down. And it worked. Shoot, I need to try this positive thinking thing more often, lol.

Let me tell you one of the funniest things that happened right before I left though. It is 5:35 and I'm hoping to sneak out a little early when this Chinese guy walks in. So I greet him and see if he needs help (I don't think he understood a word I said but that's neither here nor there, lol). Well not even 3 min. later this black guy walks in (normally I don't state color and all but it plays into the story) his first question is what's our return policy? Well I can tell this is going to be promising, so I tell him. I am now trying to stay with my customer will answering this other guys questions cause for some reason I am all alone up front in the store. A few minutes later the woman I don't like comes up and I ask her to take the black guy so I can finish with my customer.

Not even 5 min. later I hear this being YELLED in our store among all the customers "Somebody get over here! I want someone else to help me. Get this woman away from me, I don't want her help. I don't want her anywhere near me."

LMAO! Yup, the woman I don't like was doing what she always does. She was judging because of color and appearance and wasn't' letting the guy hold the merchandise he was looking at. And he made a scene! I ended up helping him and all was fine. He pulled out a wad of cash so large and then the other woman was wishing she hadn't treated him the way she did.

Karma's a Bitch! She's also the one that jipped me in the polyanna. lol.

It is now 5:15pm and I am leaving, so much for getting out early. I dash over to Target and they have one pair of boots left in Abby's size....with no box and scratches on the front! Decisions decisions....I grab the boots figuring I can exchange them after Christmas but at least she can have them to open.

As luck would have it though I got to the second Target at 5:50pm and decide to check and see if I would have any better luck...they had them! Yeay! I was so excited.

I dashed home grabbed Josh and some presents and was off to my family party....

~ Nicole

Christmas 2006, part 1

The Christmas post.....lol. Well you plan and shop and cook for it and it's all over now. How was your Christmas everyone??? Mine? FUN! No fighting, or none that I remember so it couldn't have been that bad. lol...

Christmas Eve Eve (Saturday) I got my first Christmas present. Me Josh and my BIL went out together to finish up our shopping. After we were done my BIL took us out for drinks and said it was his gift to us. So we ate drank and were merry. lol.

We went to this place called Cheeseburger in Paradise. I had never been there before, anyone ever heard of it? Well it was sooooo nice. It reminded me of Margaritaville in Vegas. And that's exactly what I had. Some of the best freaking margaritas EVER! It was a layered drink with all different flavors and it was sooo yummy!

After we had some drinks and food we decided to go to the mall and shop some more. Now mind you I thought the mall closed at 11pm, but my BIL told me it was open till midnight. So we were on our way (it took all the drinks for me to get the guys to the mall). The mall is not far from where we were, maybe1/4 of a mile, not even I'm sure.

So when we were walking to the car I said that we should walk. Of course the guys looked at me like I was nuts so I said fine I'd walk alone. It is now 10:45pm. What? It was a nice night and I was hot. They obviously didn't think I'd do it and went to the car. I did do it. lol. I half ran and half walked and by the time they wasted driving next to me and trying to get me in the car and messing around, and parking I caught up to them before the mall entrance.

We get in the mall and it's now, 10:53pm and we find out it does in fact close at 11pm. But what the hell we're all a little extra happy from our drinks so we go off to our stores to be the annoying customers that walk in right before you pull the gate down. Yes I know I hate these customers. lol. 10 minutes later we are walking out with Jordon's sneakers, and my BIL bought a build a bear. lol.

Now I was going to go right through till the day after Christmas but this got kinda long so I'm just going to post it all it sections. So tune in for the rest in a bit....


~ Nicole

Haunted Houses???

Okay so who likes to go to haunted houses? I love getting scared, I always want to go but when I get there I keep my eyes closed almost the entire time. lol. Saturday night me, Josh, Jose, Sarah, and Hannah (my brother and sisters) went to one. All of them were like $20-$30 and I'm sure they were good but we just weren't up to spending that on a HH. So we found one right around the corner that was only $8, and said to be the 'best of 'said' county', chances are it could have been the only one in said county. But whatever. We get there, and buy our tickets (oh this is after we tried to hit up the liquor store first and they were all closed. freaking stores, why the hell would they close at 9pm!) and my brother proceeds to ask EVERYONE if it was scary. This kid that had to be about 9 said it was funny. Uggg.

So we go to the house, here's the picture, and I'm already getting freaked out! See that doctor guy standing on the porch? He kept staring at us and he was freaking creepy!
Then there was this fat guy that looked dead that was walking around by the line and would just walk up to you (like an inch separating us) and look at you, while we was holding an ax. And then he threw the ax at the porch and it went in. IT WAS A FREAKING REAL AX!!! And he could tell I was scared so he kept coming at me.


Anyway once we got in the house, this guy was giving us this shpeel on not touching and dying and all this crap, basically telling us the rules in a creepy way. Oh and while he was talking a guy's hand was reaching out of the wall and trying to grab Josh but he was to far away, to bad cause it would have been sooo funny to see him get scared.


So my brother is such a dork and took these kind of pictures all night, and pretended to be scared of everything. Which he wasn't he only made fun of me and Hannah (the only two to get scared) the entire time.
Oh but something really scary/funny! We went around this one corner and there was a hole in the wall, well Sarah thought it was this fake thing that made you think there was this big drop like we saw in this other room. So she runs up and yells "oh no I'm falling" and pops her head into the hole then SCREAMS!!! cause there was a person in there that was supposed to jump up and scare us and they hit heads. OMG we were laughing soooooo hard, my sides hurt.

Just for fun here are some pictures of Sarah messing around with all the 'scary' stuff they had in the house. She's such a freak.







When we were done we were still wanting more scare, so we went to see Texas Chain Saw Massacre The Beginning. And OMG I would be stretching the truth if I said I saw more than a third of it. I had my eyes covered and peeked through most of it. It was soooo gory gross. Every time something would happen or jump out I'd jump a mile, hide my face in my hands and my brothers shoulder and scream "OH JESUS!" Not kidding! So all in all, it was a fun night. I love hanging with my brother and sisters. Aren't they so cute! lol. And I swear Josh was there, but he just didn't' get in any pictures. ha ha.


Off topic, but to cute to pass up......

Alright, I know this is sideways but I don't' know how to edit it to flip and this is how I recorded it. But I was on myspace and Abby heard the music on someones page and says mommy look at me. I look and she's dancing, so I pull out the camera and she went to town. lol. Oh and of course you can all tell she had dressed herself, and no I did not let her leave the house like this.


~ Nicole

Why is it such a bad thing???

Okay so over the weekend my husband had gone to Atlantic City for a Bachelor party. He left Friday at about 4pm and got home at 1:30am. Didn't even spend then night. Well I had no illusions about what he was going to be doing. They ate, gambled (Which I'm thankful for since he came home and was only $6 short of what he went with. YEAY!) drank, walked around and went to a strip club.

Now let me just say when I got married Josh (yes I'm tired of my abbreviations, his name is Josh not J. lol) did not have a bachelor party. Well not in the true sense, he didn't have a stripper or anything, there wasn't even really drinking. He was 19, I was 18. And I don't regret it either, I mean even if we were older. For some reason I don't mind him going to strip clubs for others bachelor parties but I would have been bothered by him going prior to our wedding day with a bunch of guys.

But back to the story...

Of course I gave him a hard time about it. Not him going just about what he'd do at the strip club. I told him that he was NOT allowed a lap dance. My thinking is touching is cheating, look all you want. But also he doesn't get any for three days after going to a strip club, which I got that from Holly (thanks girl). lol. So any way, they go have a good time, and that's the end of it.

Well during the day that he was in AC I had lunch with my aunt (she's only 4 years older than me) and her two kids. So we're talking and I say how Josh is going to AC and he better be good and all. You know, just jokes. I trust my husband.

Today my aunt called me and jokingly says "so was Josh good?" me, "yeah, ha ha ha." her, "no strippers?" me, "oh there were strippers, there just wasn't a lap dance." her, "WHAT??? You allow that? Nicole." (yes I said Nicole, that's my real name and I will be using that, stay tuned for a post on the why's and details...) and I'm all "What? I don't care if he goes blah blah blah." basically she was shocked that I was okay with him going to a strip club. I'm all it's not a everyday event! I mean sheesh, I let him go when there are bachelor parties. What's the big deal?

What are your thoughts on this? Would you allow your husband to go?

When Josh and I have been in AC together, we've joked about going together. We never really went cause I think he thought I was joking. But really???? I'd go. Why not?

Would you??? Am I strange for wanting to go with him? I've never been. Shouldn't I know what he's seeing when he's there?

My Story...

Well I wanted to blog about 'what if's' in life but I figured I'd give you my story first. Then talk about 'what if's' since I seem to run them through my head sometimes, about my own life.

I grew up in a Christian home, I was always at church functions, youth group the whole nine yards. And I loved it, I wasn't one of those kids forced into going, I had great friends, and my church was fun. I wasn't a naive teen either, although I went to a Christian school I lived in the City. I had lots of friends in my neighborhood, so believe me I wasn't sheltered. So anyway, I had boyfriends, lots of boyfriends, but I was never the girl that went 'all the way' with the guys, and they knew it. I never experimented with drugs, but for some odd reason I dated (if you can call it that, we just made out never went anywhere) a few guys that sold them. I always felt like I could be the one to 'save them from their ways'. lol.

Moving on to when I was 16....I meet JD at church. He was dating another girl. Actually the sister of a friend of mine, but I didn't know her. I actually thought JD's brother was cute and was looking at him. Well after JD and his girlfriend broke up he and I started to talk. Just as friends but it soon became apparent that we were both attracted to each other. So March 21, 1998 JD and I were officially a couple. Now this in my mind would be my first real boyfriend. Not the first guy I kissed or made out with or anything like that. But the first boyfriend to take me out on dates, take me to his house to meet the family. You know all that. He had just turned 17 the beginning of that month and I was to turn 17 in August.

We dated with only two break-ups through our junior year in high school and through our senior year too. We'd talk about marriage in general terms, such as we knew we'd always be together so of course one day we'd marry. But we didn't go looking at rings, and I never asked him about it. For that matter I never really thought about it much. But about a month after we graduated, on June, 30, 1999 I was proposed to. Now I'm not going to go into it all right now, I'll do a separate post on that. But anyway....on with the story.

My parents had gotten married when my dad was 20 and my mom 18. They are still together, 27 years now. JD's parents got married a lot later in life, his dad was married before and had two kids from that marriage. So needless to say my parents voice their concerns on us being so young, but were happy for us and gave us their blessing. JD's parents were sooooo far from happy it wasn't even funny. They basically flipped. There were family meetings over this and the whole nine yards. But we were young and determined to do what we wanted. So the wedding date was set.

July, 8, 2000 I was married! It was so much fun. The new Condo, my own furniture and yard, and bills (yes bills, I was excited to have my own. lol) just everything. We had decided before we got married to wait 5 years to have kids. After we got married we shortened it to 2 years. Then a couple we knew were having a lot of trouble getting pregnant and supposedly at the time the doctor thought it could have been her birth control and all this stuff. So JD and I got scared and basically decided to leave it to nature and not take any birth control.......Our first Christmas.....I take a pregnancy test.....I'm pregnant! Merry Christmas everyone! We were soooo happy! J was born August 21, 2001. J's first birthday comes and ..... I take another pregnancy test.....I'm pregnant again! And this time it was a shock, I was on Birth control. Granted they were a very low dosage (since I had just stopped nursing J), and I was horrible at remembering all the time, but still we were shocked. I got over my shock fast and was happy again. JD took a bit more to get used to the fact that we were going to have two kids 21 months apart. March 30, 2003 A was born.

So now I've been married 6 years, with a 5 year old, and 3 1/2 year old. And I am only 25 (or will be in 5 days) and sometimes I just wonder....."What if..." I didn't get married, what if JD and I just dated and we each went off to college? Would we have ended up married eventually? Would I have my babies? Would I be living in Jersey? Would I be richer? Who would I be with? All these what if's. It can boggle the mind, it really can. I try not to dwell on it much but for some reason today it was just on my mind. I love my husband to death, and my children too. I wouldn't trade them for the world. I have so much to be thankful for and I am but sometimes you just have to wonder....what if......don't you?