I don't have a lot to say right now or a lot of time. But as I was thinking earlier today about what to buy my mom and sister for their birthdays I was struck by how hard our birthdays are going to be both this year and every year.
Within a month my mom me and my other sister all have birthdays...the usual birthday thing with us is a birthday breakfast. Even since I've married and moved out my mom has tried to keep the tradition with either Josh doing it and them coming over or me just going there. But birthdays are always with family. So with Hannah's death so recent and all three of us having our birthdays I just have to wonder how it will be.
This was Hannah's 20th Birthday this past April:
I'm sure there will be moments that we're having fun laughing and then the laughter will turn to tears without any warning just cause we'll realize Hannah's not there. She was so much fun. Always making everyone crack up laughing.
Then with gifts....I saw this glass heart that you can have a picture etched in and I wanted it to get it for myself to hang on my rear view mirror in my car. Then I was like 'good idea, I'll get one for my mom' then josh said to get one for Sarah too. At first I thought it was a good idea, I mean I know they would want one, but will it just bring more sadness to their birthdays if I give them something in memory of Hannah? Should I just make it a non-birthday gift and find something else for their birthdays?
I'll tell you one thing Army Wives is like therapy for me right now. Anyone watching this show will know. Sometimes I just want to cry out my pain and every time I watch it it hits right on some of my feelings with Hannah and I have a good cry.
She always was sure of herself and how cute she looked, especially when she was going out:
~ Nicole
Kids Say the Darnedest Things
10 years ago
Posts
6 Comments:
The "First" everything will always be hard....but it WILL get easier.
I think it would be better to give the memorial hearts to them, just because, rather than as a birthday present. Not because you should try to avoid the mention of Hannah but because, well, I'm not sure how to say it without it coming off wrong. I guess, I think that maybe letting the day be about them and try to remember Hannah through laughter versus heartache, if only for a few moments?
Yeah, I kind of agree. But you also need to do what you feel in your heart. There isn't any right or wrong. When my grandmother passed away (SO not the same thing!), at Christmas time we gave a framed 5x7 picture of her to all the relevant folks - one where she was obviously laughing and loving the moment. That may also be a wonderful thing to do - you have so many fabulous shots of Hannah - something to give along with the glass hearts. Something so that when you look at it, you can't help but smile.
Lori,
That's a great idea. It makes the gift personal too that way cause I can pick a frame that my mom would love and a frame my sister would love. Thanks.
Charmed,
I get what your saying and that's kinda what I thought. I think I may do the hearts just because but still put Hannah in the day with what Lori said. I like that idea. Thanks.
Go with what YOU are comfortable with and you can't go wrong darlin'
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