My Story...

Well I wanted to blog about 'what if's' in life but I figured I'd give you my story first. Then talk about 'what if's' since I seem to run them through my head sometimes, about my own life.

I grew up in a Christian home, I was always at church functions, youth group the whole nine yards. And I loved it, I wasn't one of those kids forced into going, I had great friends, and my church was fun. I wasn't a naive teen either, although I went to a Christian school I lived in the City. I had lots of friends in my neighborhood, so believe me I wasn't sheltered. So anyway, I had boyfriends, lots of boyfriends, but I was never the girl that went 'all the way' with the guys, and they knew it. I never experimented with drugs, but for some odd reason I dated (if you can call it that, we just made out never went anywhere) a few guys that sold them. I always felt like I could be the one to 'save them from their ways'. lol.

Moving on to when I was 16....I meet JD at church. He was dating another girl. Actually the sister of a friend of mine, but I didn't know her. I actually thought JD's brother was cute and was looking at him. Well after JD and his girlfriend broke up he and I started to talk. Just as friends but it soon became apparent that we were both attracted to each other. So March 21, 1998 JD and I were officially a couple. Now this in my mind would be my first real boyfriend. Not the first guy I kissed or made out with or anything like that. But the first boyfriend to take me out on dates, take me to his house to meet the family. You know all that. He had just turned 17 the beginning of that month and I was to turn 17 in August.

We dated with only two break-ups through our junior year in high school and through our senior year too. We'd talk about marriage in general terms, such as we knew we'd always be together so of course one day we'd marry. But we didn't go looking at rings, and I never asked him about it. For that matter I never really thought about it much. But about a month after we graduated, on June, 30, 1999 I was proposed to. Now I'm not going to go into it all right now, I'll do a separate post on that. But anyway....on with the story.

My parents had gotten married when my dad was 20 and my mom 18. They are still together, 27 years now. JD's parents got married a lot later in life, his dad was married before and had two kids from that marriage. So needless to say my parents voice their concerns on us being so young, but were happy for us and gave us their blessing. JD's parents were sooooo far from happy it wasn't even funny. They basically flipped. There were family meetings over this and the whole nine yards. But we were young and determined to do what we wanted. So the wedding date was set.

July, 8, 2000 I was married! It was so much fun. The new Condo, my own furniture and yard, and bills (yes bills, I was excited to have my own. lol) just everything. We had decided before we got married to wait 5 years to have kids. After we got married we shortened it to 2 years. Then a couple we knew were having a lot of trouble getting pregnant and supposedly at the time the doctor thought it could have been her birth control and all this stuff. So JD and I got scared and basically decided to leave it to nature and not take any birth control.......Our first Christmas.....I take a pregnancy test.....I'm pregnant! Merry Christmas everyone! We were soooo happy! J was born August 21, 2001. J's first birthday comes and ..... I take another pregnancy test.....I'm pregnant again! And this time it was a shock, I was on Birth control. Granted they were a very low dosage (since I had just stopped nursing J), and I was horrible at remembering all the time, but still we were shocked. I got over my shock fast and was happy again. JD took a bit more to get used to the fact that we were going to have two kids 21 months apart. March 30, 2003 A was born.

So now I've been married 6 years, with a 5 year old, and 3 1/2 year old. And I am only 25 (or will be in 5 days) and sometimes I just wonder....."What if..." I didn't get married, what if JD and I just dated and we each went off to college? Would we have ended up married eventually? Would I have my babies? Would I be living in Jersey? Would I be richer? Who would I be with? All these what if's. It can boggle the mind, it really can. I try not to dwell on it much but for some reason today it was just on my mind. I love my husband to death, and my children too. I wouldn't trade them for the world. I have so much to be thankful for and I am but sometimes you just have to wonder....what if......don't you?