Work/Mall gossip

God I feel so pathetic that this is what my life boils down to but seriously! This is some crazy shit! Remember how I told you about the woman that drives me freaking batty at work? And how she is 52 and has the hots for this 24 year old? Well let me give you some more juice about all this.

The other day she asked a guy that works with us (a gay guy) what a (and I quote her here) 'coochie stretch' is! NO FREAKING LIE! She said cause she's so much older and has had two kids she needs to work it into shape. Honey there is no going back! hahah. She said she thinks if she lost about 40 pounds she'd look to be about 30, I told her she would never look 30 and she got all upset and said I was saying that she looked like an old bag! You know what? She can think what she wants, but I am not lying to her. And she goes on and on about her boobs, she keeps saying they are 'pert' and 'nice' and I just want to first gag then scream 'STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU NASTY BOOB! THEY PROBABLY DRAG ON THE FLOOR WITHOUT A BRA!'.

Now don't get me wrong here, I don't want to start a riot, I don't by any means think all 50 year old women and nasty looking and ugly. But this one is! Sorry. She sells Mary Kay on the sides and it's a wonder anyone buys it from her since her make-up is so poorly done.

Okay I'm getting a little mean here, but she is driving me NUTS! Her husband (yes she's married!) is going away next month and this guy (the 24 yo) is throwing a party at her house! She's letting him. Like a huge kegger!

And here is the kicker.....tonight she bought him a $200 diamond ring!!!!!!! Actually it was a $300 ring but it was discounted since she works there! She's a nut case. And mean while I talk to this guy when she's not around and he laughs his ass off about her. He totally makes fun of her, and is using her for all the free lunches, clothes and now jewelry she buys him. Her oldest daughter is the same freaking age as him! This guy has a son the same age and her GRANDAUGHTER! Need I say any more??????

~ Nicole

Bitch, Ass, Pissed

Those three words have made my blog rated.....wait for it......here it comes.......

Mingle² - Online Dating

Are you suprised? I'm not. Acutally I'm shocked that I only said Bitch 5x's, Ass 2x's and Pissed 1x. Come on I have to have said all that more than those times. Maybe it's just in the last so often. lol.

~ Nicole

If Only...

If I could find my glasses I'd post something new here. But my eyes are bothering me and therefor giving me a head ache so I cannot look at the computer anymore. It is making me feel sick to my stomach. Not to mention I ate a hot dog for dinner cause I have no food in my house and I HATE them so that is also turning my stomach. lol. I'm just a bowl of cherries tonight aren't I? Maybe I'll be back later.....if only I can find my glasses. :-(

~ Nicole

Do I look like a freaking people person!?!

I was looking through a catalogue my mom has and saw this calendar thing with that (my title) saying on it and so fell in love. lol. Isn't it great??? So me!

Anyway, how is everyone? I feel like I have a whole new life here. I'm working 40 or more hours a week, which I know is normal for a lot of you. But I've been a part time worker for the past 6 years so it's taking some getting used to. Also the fact that I'm in management, like someone will ask me permission for something and I think to myself 'why the hell are they asking me?' then it hits me and I'm all OH YEAH! Yup, a real dumb moment, but we won't tell the workers that. lol.

There is this one woman that works at the store and OMG I've already got a million stories about this chick! She is 52, married with two grown children and one grandchild and I have no idea how she got this far in life! No I'm so not joking. You ask her a yes or no question and get a 5 hour answer. It drives me nuts. As I sit here and try to think up stories I realize that you either have to work in retail or meet her to know what I mean. It won't come off as good if I just tell you about it. But I'll try. Here's one example:

Last week I handed her a box and said 'can you tag these?' Now mind you this box has been sitting in our safe for awhile now and I was pretty sure everyone knew untagged merchandise was in it, so when she gave me a look of total and utter confusion I said (slower) 'there is merchandise in the box, look at the receipt attached and match that number to the number on the tag, then tag it and put it out.' The light bulb goes on, or so I think, she sits down at a case and opens the box (a case as in a diamond counter that customers walk up to and is open to the entire store), just then a customer comes in. In her haste to get the customer she just ups and walks away from the box of merchandise sitting on the case, so I say 'M put away the merchandise first', she turns back and I swear to God says 'OH there's merchandise in there?' WHAT THE HELL DID I TELL HER? WHAT THE HELL DID SHE THINK SHE WAS TAGGING? WHAT THE HELL DID SHE JUST SIT DOWN AND LOOK AT IN THE FREAKING BOX? Is it me here or is she a bit batty? After that she put the box away and went to help the customer and proceeds to then working it out to herself out loud. As in she is with a customer and muttering under her breath 'oh yeah, that would make sense that there was merchandise in there, oh yeah. okay now I get it'! Needless to say the customer did not buy from Miss. Crazy.

I've got so much more on her (as in the 24 year old BOY she is messing with!) but I'll touch on that later. lol. I'll leave you hanging for the moment. You know to get you back again. lol.

~ Nicole

I'm moved!

Have you missed me? I have sooooo missed blogging. I can't wait to fully be back. I still have a ton of unpacking to do and work to adjust to.

BUT I did post a moving story over on my other blog. So go here and read it. AND DON'T LAUGH! It was very upsetting.

Be back soon. Miss everyone.

Oh and real quick listen to this conversation:
(I just turn on the radio, and Big Girls Don't Cry is on)

Abby: I like this song
Jordon: No Abby you don't, you never even heard it before.
Me: Do you know what this song is called?
Both of them: What?
Me: Big Girls Don't Cry
(a moment of silence)
Jordon: But mommy, your a big girl and you cry!

LOL!

Oh and how about Jordon trying to be cool in front of the girls in our new neighborhood.

One of the girls: DARN!
Abby: That's a bad word.
Jordon: No it's not.
Abby: Yu huh.
Jordon: (looking at the girl) Pssh, I say it all the time!
Me: Jordon! Abby is right, it is a bad word, and you don't say it! I better not hear it again from anyone.

Jordon got all shame faced. I had to walk away and laugh.

~ Nicole