Not to mention

All the nasty, funny, gross, and weird people at the beach.

As we're trying to find a parking spot JD says "Oh no, she so shouldn't be wearing a bikini." as I look over I see a woman, not all that big really, but not toned AT ALL. Which means her in a bikini equals nasty cellulite jiggling everywhere. So I turn to JD and say "the beach makes me feel so much better about myself.".

Now here's my thinking on that. It's not that I am sooo skinny, cause I'm not and I'll admit that. But I DO know what doesn't look attractive on me, I mean I've had two kids I wear a tankini (no need to show off a tummy that had produced two kids). So why WHY do women that are bigger than I feel they can prance around on the beach with teeny little bathing suits on? I mean really do they own a mirror at home? And if so use it!

The girls that sat in front of us were whales. I am so not being mean or over exaggerating! They both must have weighed in at 450 pounds each! But it was funny how different they both were. One tried to look good, she had brown hair with blond streaks in the front with a brown bathing suit on (thank God one that covered everything and was a skirt type) and she was one of those solid fat girls. Not really any cellulite just firm fat! Now the other one had mousy brown hair, she was white as a ghost, had veins popping out everywhere along with PLENTY of cellulite. And an blue and white polka dotted bathing suit. Horrible. And they must have been the same age.

Or how bout the Mexican family that was to the right of us? First of all most of the men had mullets. Hello???? That does not look good! And the women? Flubbery woman with bikini tops on and jean shorts. Not shorts over their bottoms, but jean shorts they wore IN the water. And how bout the 13 yr. old mother who tugged her not even one year old son through the water. The kids bottoms were about to hit the ground (you saw about 3 in. of crack) and he kept falling, I thought his arm was going to come out of socket!

Sunscreen! If your white use it! There was a huge woman with such a horrid burn on her back, and her suit moved so you see this huge white X on her back. JD said it was a landing stripe for helicopters. lol.

Oh and just a note to all you men. If you think you are a little chubby in the waist and need to wear a shirt in the water? Don't wear a white wife beater. It just makes it worse.

And women? If you think you need to wear something extra on your bottom for whatever reason, don't wear those sheer pants to match your suit, especially not IN the water. Bad bad move. You just look ridiculous.

Ahhh, a day at the beach! I have much more, but I need to be off to work. I'll give you more later. But between me and the jerk I think you have a pretty good idea of what goes on on the jersey shore. lol.